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the directions say to  "fill carrier to full capacity,  while carrier is on the roof".    What constitutes Full Capacity?    so here, on the bed.   All the winter(Rain)season clothes i found so beyond useful.  the Wool blankets.   the "sandpaper" sheets.   one  under bed blanket storage container with a few oversize books,  some art of  grandson and son.  small treasures.   and otherwise,

cloth.  all those zip locks.   Hopefully on the weekend Jenny can help get it up there and positioned so i can fill it like this and we can strap it in place.   And i can……………i can…………live the present moments.  as they come.   as they Need.    Nogal didn't want his  3 tortilla chips yesterday.   and again this morning.    i glanced at his water tub,  was ok enough till this eve.   and when i went to change it,  there was a drowned lizard in it.   There is no excuse for this.   it's 103 and he has a dead lizard in his water probably since yesterday.  no excuse, grace.   

 

 


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in between the above,  when i was sitting with the little fan blowing on me,  breathing,  i started this.   I want to SAVE those moments (again last night)  of feeling the trees reach down to Hold….i want to Mark.   it keeps just looking vertical and it is so much also horizontal and i've forgotten how to make that happen….if you want to get good at something,  you have to do it a lot,  not just once in awhile….

drawing

i remembered the classes that my So Loved Kay Gould~Caskey taught way back in the Ann Arbor, Michigan days,  forever ago in that other life….i think of them and can recreate them perfectly in my Memory…the Felt/Sense…  how she would come,  sit next to us,  each in our turn,  we would tell her what we were seeing in our Mind'sEye …what we didn't know how to get onto the paper and she would look long and say things…some direct about how  it  might happen,  sometimes just  wondering,  just questioning,    The vibration in those rooms of women,  her,  was  ~High~   and so so Beauty Full…..      i thought today… If Only….

Tomorrow…Trust Time.   5 minutes.   

 

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17 responses to “close to Enough”

  1. Joanne in Maine Avatar
    Joanne in Maine

    What would I pack?? I will consider this today. I think my clothes and my books. Not all…just the ones I would mourn if I lost them. Other things I would put in the basement. So many trees here…..the house would burn down to the ground. Clean underwear and books.

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  2. Liz A Avatar

    what matters more? … the things we have made? … or the things yet to be made?

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  3. jude Avatar

    yes. a lot.

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  4. jude Avatar

    i just, just moments ago, asked myself that very question, recorded it even…

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  5. maria Avatar
    maria

    the things yet to be made , because that’s future , i ask myself who will made ? and why ?
    i was with you in the trust moment … there was attention

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  6. maria Avatar
    maria

    i do’nt know what i take with me if i need to go by fire or water or…. i don’t know , i think over it to hold to let go ????

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  7. Peggy McG Avatar
    Peggy McG

    I am trusting towards the positive. What can be will be and what cant, something else will be.

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  8. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    Today, trust time was spent on the couch, not at my grapevine outside due to side effects i.e. zero energy, etc. from 2nd Covid booster on Tues.Directly across from where I was sitting on the couch, on the wall, a few of my stitched cloths; one in particular, held me during my trust time -the cloth that I call my homage to my beloved author Rudolfao Anaya complete with a photo of the actress, Miriam Colon, who portrayed Ultima in the movie made from his book, Bless Me Ultima. She rises from a marked naturally dyed cloth that was part of a collage I made during Acey’s special collage classes. (The collage was called Curandera, healer.)
    As I looked at this cloth, I felt a spirit hug, closed my eyes and a feeling enveloped me that whatever we are facing, in this tumultuous time, we face together because we trust in ourselves, and we trust in each other, in our collective wisdom, to see us through…

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  9. Yvette Avatar

    I can’t hold thoughts
    Chaos
    Trust moments when the dogs curl against me and i hear them breath

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  10. Nancy Avatar

    I was there this week, 7AM, commuting…working hard to still my mind and focus. Some times are easier than others. Hope you are feeling better this morning. xo

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  11. grace Forrest Avatar

    the basement. Oh!…i’d forgotten basements. !!! how
    interesting…No basements in New Mex, no basements here.
    Basements.
    Something to Consider….basements…
    THANK YOU for this

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  12. grace Forrest Avatar

    a very impossible question i think?

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  13. grace Forrest Avatar

    you are always with me

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  14. grace Forrest Avatar

    it changes day to day

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  15. grace Forrest Avatar

    what a great way to “put” it…”and what can’t, something
    else will be”

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  16. grace Forrest Avatar

    trust in ourSelves. Trust in each other.
    Yes. these things. Sure. Trust Worthy.

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  17. grace Forrest Avatar

    trust in dogs. there is no question in this.

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