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not much.   but Enough.   room to go forward..   just some marks.  and isn't that how it is????,   just some marks??????

 


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undaunted,  i brought forward the caste iron pot,  the aluminum pot.    Emrie had found that

wand

it was under this tin house… if you can,  see the magic marks on it,  that language.   the toad cloth,  the bell.   She found it.   double click.

and i remembered  BEANS  to day.   Making beans.   

New Mexico.  Polvadera.   Valley Loop Road.

where i lived.

Beans.  I remembered going to Super Mart,  the small local grocery,  scooping out a bag of  pinto beans.   Going just across the roads to Kenny Bustamante's house,  his mom coming to the door and she would invite me in while she went to get me my chili.  the dried red chili needed for these beans.   You put two in.   They cook.   a long time.   all day.   into the evening  and then you spoon out a bowl.   A bowl of beans.   

a bowl of beans

My across the road neighbor Margie taught me how to cook.   I learned.  My beans were 

good after a while.

but never ,  compared to Margie's.   Not quite.  ever.   her beans came from her blood.

i realize how i cannot go there,  still,  yet,  back to that place where i lived.  This is the first time i've realized it.   i can't.  still.  it's like it is still exactly as it was…the day i left….

eeeeeee….i can't.

the moon.   is huge.  and low.

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20 responses to “an August moon. low. heavy.”

  1. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    Earth and sky or earth and sea, the two cloths side by side: each cloth calls to me for so many reasons.
    The dress, as it is now, holds the essence of the Hill because the markings look like tree bark; if you dip it later into walnut, the dress becomes Earth Mother,I just love this.
    Did the malabar give all of that wonderful grey green blue color to the piece of cloth next to the dress? If so, I would wrap this cloth around the dress. this is such a beautiful and oh so fitting way to honor the spirit of place as well as what you have brought to it, i.e. the malabar…

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  2. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    Came back because because I realized that the grey green blue cloth could not be the malabar cloth…still, it looks as if it belongs right next to the earth dress…

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  3. Liz A Avatar

    surely that is a bird flying up from the center of the dress …

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  4. jude Avatar

    just enough you could just keep dyeing it again and again.

    Like

  5. Jan Stevenson Avatar
    Jan Stevenson

    “i realize how i cannot go there, still, yet, back to that place where i lived.” I know this feeling. I think it is about going back and finding that the place has changed without our presence. . .changed and somehow we weren’t a part of that change. . .or that we still were but don’t yet know how.

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  6. Deb G Avatar

    Thinking about how everything changes, about how we get good at things or don’t.

    Like

  7. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    I think I see a goat peeking out from a structure in the dress’s center. Nice soft cloths hanging near the old oak.
    I can’t go back to my hometown since my mother died. That doesn’t even make sense to me. I still miss her.
    She used to make branch wands for my little family.
    I am glad Emrie found one!

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  8. Nancy Avatar

    Oh…yes, a wand! Wands…

    Like

  9. Peggy McG Avatar
    Peggy McG

    Oh those precious pots! And the stick.. I vision hands working the stick. Adaptation of past processes into the present conjuring memories.. and making new cloth. Behold it. Whatever that means.

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  10. grace Forrest Avatar

    yes…it belongs. an old blouse. with the patch, just for Beauty, inspired by Spirit Cloth days
    they are related. those days, Now days. related.
    that old blouse from Polvadera times….that house, there

    Like

  11. grace Forrest Avatar

    last evening as i squatted, turning off the water for B Garden, a Crow flew low and through….
    i called out
    !
    my best Crow language and
    it circled and returned and sat…just near
    high in a pine and i stood up and called again…my
    best Crow
    and it listened

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  12. grace Forrest Avatar

    yes. i think that is what might happen.

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  13. grace Forrest Avatar

    i don’t know, Jan, but it is a full body intense sensation that i’d avoided knowing before.
    i really am not ready to know it now, either. Just to know it’s
    there
    waiting
    for me

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  14. grace Forrest Avatar

    yes. i got good at beans.

    Like

  15. grace Forrest Avatar

    this branch wand….was made with Julian and Destiny when they were heavy into Harry Potter, then lost under the house. till today
    i was so beyond joyous to see it, hold it
    the thing about “can’t go back” …. like it’s all still on PAUSE?….
    I love you for giving these words

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  16. grace Forrest Avatar

    the marks on the stick are beyond excellent…i wish there was a way to show them here

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  17. grace Forrest Avatar

    conjuring.
    imagining, then,
    conjuring
    i smile. Yes. Behold it. Whatever that means…i
    SMILE
    love you, peggy

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  18. Peggy McG Avatar
    Peggy McG

    Love you back grace!

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  19. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    Like pause, not grief and growth. Stuck. Family complicated things…
    XO Thank you for allowing me…
    Your blog, Grace, always makes me think and feel.
    The branch wands are happy thoughts.

    Like

  20. Nancy Avatar

    I double clicked and could see! Insect trails 🙂

    Like

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