windthread

recent posts

about

Tay’s

20230309_145954

this Cloth Belongs to Tay.    i'm not sure what that means.   But i am sure of the statement of it.   This Cloth Belongs to Tay.

i at first thought to draw her standing.   Facing.     but sat with that a lot and it wasn't how it needed to be,  OR,   wanted to be.  I wanted her uhhhh,   soft.   Gentle.   maybe even a Gentle Day Tay.   ??????   OR,  maybe that's just for today,  a hard day of so much MORE RAIN,   Wind,    a hard day to find space for feeding Goats….just a hard day    and i thought how she would always be there,  just near,   watching me.    She was always watching me.   Often just lying a way back,   with a few sticks.   Watching.  Just Being There.   

i stitched more leaves.   i need MORE leaves.    the light through the window was so dim,   it was hard,   seeing where the needle might go next   and i remembered some of why i quit this kind of sewing….because the light was so Not Present    

i can use the battery for the table lamp but then it's not available for anything else,  incl.   phone.   gets used up.   and this battery i used today is  failing.   it's one of the ones i love most and it's failing.   They are no longer available.   So….not a great day.  But

i drew her.    

She comforts me.      and i Love her.    I will finish this Cloth for her.   For Us.     Whatever that might mean.

Posted in

28 responses to “Tay’s”

  1. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    To me, what this cloth means is that while Tay was yours, is yours, is your other half, she was also part of each of us who come here for you have shared her with us, all of these years, through photos, words, story.
    I, who have always been afraid of big dogs, grew easy in her presence, for she knew, and gentled herself when I was with you and her…that to me, is love. When we grieve, it is so natural to want to create something tangible, although are memories can be at times…creating something tangible is how we honor our loved one, so this cloth, filled with you vision and work of your hand, the leaves, companion crow, you sitting on the earth, Tay sitting beside you, holds all of this by the work of your hand, and your heart. (For me, stitching her name to one of my most personal cloths, is how I hold to her…)
    John O’Donohue in his book, Walking in Wonder, the chapter on Absence:
    “I believe that the death of every animal and every person creates a kind of invisible ruin in the world, and that, as the world gets older, it becomes more full with these invisible ruins of vanished presence…”
    “So absence is never clear-cut. Everyone that leaves your life leaves a subtle trail of connection with you; and when you think of them, and miss them and desire them, your heart journeys out again along that trail towards them in the elsewhere that they now find themselves.”
    IFor me, taking that journey, is a journey that we return to, time and time again, by ourselves, with others, and by commemorating and honoring, our loved ones, in our singular and collective, creative ways.

    Like

    Reply
  2. jude Avatar
    jude

    Every time I see sticks, which is mostly all the time, I think of Tay.
    I have use a lamp with a solar charger. Have you looked into that? I have two, I leave one outside to charge, while using the other.

    Like

    Reply
  3. Yvette Avatar
    Yvette

    I hold you and Tay in my arms

    Like

    Reply
  4. CatherinE Avatar
    CatherinE

    Thinking of you holding on through the hard days of the atmospheric river, celebrating Tay’s continuing gentle presence in your cloth and in your memories. It occurs to me – maybe it doesn’t matter if you stitch a leaf on top of another leaf?

    Like

    Reply
  5. Deb G Avatar
    Deb G

    It’s good to have something to hold on to.

    Like

    Reply
  6. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    I thought of you driving home this morning in the ‘more rain’…I’m sorry for your hard day. I hope you feel the love of so many, including me.

    Like

    Reply
  7. maria Avatar
    maria

    a hard day while the atmospheric river share her water with us low/down
    battery low/down no much light to see , while you know , the connecthing who is so intens,
    , a kint of pain , may i give you a warm hug inclosed everything

    Like

    Reply
  8. Tina Avatar
    Tina

    Grace I’m so very sorry for this hard day .. I do wish you could have more sunshine. I sorry .. very very sorry 😢

    Like

    Reply
  9. Cindy Avatar
    Cindy

    tears and love for you and everyone missing Tay
    she is still here, near and watching you

    Like

    Reply
  10. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    I see Tay better on my large screen. You drew her beautifully, and I am wondering if your crow is bringing Tay, or you, a gift. You, on your knees. Maybe with a spade, or limp, near the stones marking other beloved ones. You’re not alone there.
    xoxo

    Like

    Reply
  11. Cynthia Avatar
    Cynthia

    Oh grace.. I read this and it was as if not a day had gone by .. instead of the 15 years ago in the hospital room that became so familiar and that doctor gave me the gentle day..I am lucky I know.. I still have Alan .. if not exactly the same Alan..here.. I make no comparison.. but still I sit here in the same ridiculous rage that grief sometimes brings.. to have loss and trying to right yourself or the world or a memory .. Ray’s cloth seems a perfect way to gather so much in.. I am wishing you clearer skies and even sun but definitely light and whatever might bring you ease.. and a gentle day .. much love cynthia

    Like

    Reply
  12. Peggy McGrail Avatar
    Peggy McGrail

    Love this Tay’s and Your Cloth!

    Like

    Reply
  13. Greta Avatar
    Greta

    (Tay❤️Grace❤️)

    Like

    Reply
  14. Cynthia Avatar
    Cynthia

    Obviously Tay not Ray and my rage is not really anger.. just a surge of unruly emotion.. and still to you A gentle day

    Like

    Reply
  15. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i wish i could explain….solar…here, where i am, IN
    a Forest…

    Like

    Reply
  16. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    absense is never clear cut…absense isn’t even really
    absense either, it’s absense of the familiar forms of things, to be willing for the New, the Different….
    yes.

    Like

    Reply
  17. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i know you do…that you know this Territory well

    Like

    Reply
  18. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    it doesn’t and it will happen and it’s part of it, yes.
    ‘

    Like

    Reply
  19. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    Cloth.

    Like

    Reply
  20. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i do, Nancy. so much i do. and it keeps me returning here.

    Like

    Reply
  21. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    yes…please do. give that hug. i find solace.

    Like

    Reply
  22. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    Sun will come.

    Like

    Reply
  23. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    she is. she watches. i think of this, that she watches

    Like

    Reply
  24. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    it is all just so alive,

    Like

    Reply
  25. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    telling me that story of your day at the hospital, the sensitivity of the doctor…the gift of those two words…that gift you passed on to me, those two words…how they have become some of the most imortant words i know, over and over and over
    i love you so much for this gift

    Like

    Reply
  26. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    it is becoming

    Like

    Reply
  27. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    Heart~Greta~Heart back to you, circling over and over

    Like

    Reply
  28. jude Avatar
    jude

    well dad always said, if you can grow a tomato, you can charge a battery

    Like

    Reply

Leave a comment