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the Party.   At A,   the Wall Garden,   the abandoned Wall Garden which is now just a cardboard garden.  They are in what they call the lookout   that was going to be for chickens….way back in the beginning when we thought everyone would be living here any minute.   Alyssia decorated.   Streamers and banners on the canopy above the picnic table for the 6th birthday of the child that was the reason i am here,    the Trisomy 13 embryo.    that was supposed to live a week or so,   sometimes maybe up to a year, but rarely,   born without a face.  i said yes.   i will come and live out whatever is with You.   and here we are.   Emrie.   Six years.

her father called in the middle of things.   I watched her face as she talked with him.   Dad,  she says.   Dad.   He is a policeman in Houston Tx.   In the last year,  UnderCover…under what cover i don't know.     Dad….he is working  as he calls.   It's awkward.  She is shy with him.  There was talk about her going to Houston for her birthday but they didn't come up with their half.   So are saving for maybe Christmas.   She wants to go.   Wants to be with them.   Him,   her Abuela and Tias,   his son Aiden, 11.  Who he also doesn't live with.    a little while later,  Aiden calls.  He is good with the conversation,   having a sensitivity for her,   asking her open questions that she is able to answer.   To both of them,  she says,   without prompting,   Thank You So Much for calling me.

and here we all are except for Julian who is still in New Jersey with his father and Jax who is in New Mexico with that family,  but the Core of us,   here   and now  Minnow,   taking her place.    

and Brinley…who can appear so much a waif….her hair….i said some time back,   Jeff needs to teach himself how to do her hair and it's true but also equally or maybe more true is what Alyssia said….it's her Natural Hair.  It's how she wants it and it's true…when she is required to sit for braids or someother kind of  "product" order,   she feels violated.   She wants her hair FREE.

tonight i sit here looking back at all of us today….Minnow down on the floor dreaming,   her feet moving,  she makes soft growling sounds,   Puppie is out there somewhere,   figuring out how she is going to be   All the rest of us in our Homes

with the INTENTION to be HERE.  Together.    Like we were  today.

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15 responses to “All of it”

  1. Nancy Avatar

    Beautiful day, story of this most amazing Family on the Hill. (((hugs)))

    Like

  2. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    “Minnow taking her place”. La familia holds, it expands, and it holds and love is the intention. How six years later, a child is thriving, giving, caring, curious, intelligent, kind and the Hill receives and gives, the landscape of family…

    Like

  3. Tina Avatar
    Tina

    Grace … you have so much to celebrate!! You there surrounded by your family including the feathered and furry. I sent you all loving Blessings 😘

    Like

  4. Peggy McG Avatar
    Peggy McG

    The celebration of 6 amazing years..hers, yours, theirs.. not without trials and tribulations, but FULL of so much Love!

    Like

  5. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    Happy Birthday to Emrie, Alyssia, and YOU, love.

    Like

  6. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    When I was about Emrie’s age, my mom REALLY wanted to put a small ponytail in my hair with a rubberband, and I REALLY didn’t want it. So she took me to the nextdoor neighbor beautician lady, and had her cut all my hair off into a pixie.
    When I was a HS Sophomore, I was invited to go with my best friend on a Sun Valley ski trip with her school. I box-dyed my hair one day, my dad was angry, and made me cancel my trip.
    WTF! It was a power thing.

    Like

  7. Hazel Avatar

    Happy new year to Emrie! These summer girls and knowing that there are streamers- what joy. Love the free hair. It was often pixie cuts for me, to make Mom’s life easier. I get it but lusted after the long moving hair of the other girls.

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  8. grace Forrest Avatar

    i was at times a little uhhhh, removed. Looking at us at
    a distance…we are such a collection of souls

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  9. grace Forrest Avatar

    like those words
    landscape of family

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  10. grace Forrest Avatar

    Tina…always i receive your loving Blessings with arms
    wide open

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  11. grace Forrest Avatar
  12. grace Forrest Avatar

    yes. birthdays are always
    Birth days

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  13. grace Forrest Avatar

    i didn’t think a lot about it for years. but thinking
    about her…it’s true. There should be agency about hair.
    When her mother was alive she always spent a lot of time
    on Brinley’s hair…a lot of intricate braiding patterns…
    I don’t know if she remembers it being associated with her mom or not….or what those times were like for her. Alyssia does her hair now and then. Might need to for school this year…OR her Dad….i vote for the Dad

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  14. grace Forrest Avatar

    her hair is really something…like it’s alive
    no one would possibly think of cutting it

    Like

  15. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    My daughter’s hair had to be braided before going to bed, or it would be too difficult and painful to brush the next day. My husband did it! He said he didn’t know how. It ended up being a nice evening ritual for them. Just one or two braids. Johnson & Johnson No More Tangles, every day.
    Brinley would probably love the closeness of having her hair brushed. She might not remember her mother braiding her hair, but she just may… I also vote for Dad, but maybe every once in a while a special female.

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