Year 7 here in California.   How it is for me.:   have not shifted to Rain Season.  I wake,  way too early.  it's still dark.  and these days are upon us.   out there…I mean….in the "world".  Often it's raining.  cold.  and it's way too early and as I have all my life, I  bring into consciousness,  out of sleep,   all the things I might need to worry about or need immediate attention.    now days….it's hard.  So then there's the first tea.   and then the relatively new routine of the Little Sleep.  Always about 20 minutes and then, wake to Begin Again.  Let it all settle and wait for some balance.    Second tea and on with the day.       I don't know what I want to say here with this post.

Rain or no rain,  a lot of the days are about Goats.   When I can feed them,  how are they all fairing,  where are they sleeping,  do they seem easy with it all?????    I am aware of them all day and night.  I guess because of my own sense of vulnerability.  Taking care of them,  I take care of my Self.    and this time around it's Onday.   She's old.   of the original herd in New Mex.  Snowbunny's daughter.   For whatever reason I don't know,  she has always been my favorite.   Not because our relationship has been remarkable in any way…but I guess just because for whatever reason,  I love her.    She was bred only once.  Wasn't a great mother.  Did what she needed to do then moved on.  Would not participate in being milked.   but      she was a herd boss.  Made decisions.  called the shots.  was good at that.  Her and Oona but at first,  her.   Today she's beginning to distance herself from the rest of them but still makes her place at the feed bowl.  I watch.     But generally,  I watch them because I love watching them.  And then,  there's Minnow now….we do the tennis ball thing.  Over and over I throw.  Over and over she returns.  Off and on through a day.   Puppy when she feels like it.  The rest of days are mine and this Hill.   The Beauty  and the Joy.  Always that.  Even through Rain.  There is always Beauty and Joy.   So…..when it seems that  this country is falling apart,    life here is still the same as ever.  And while it is,   what I CAN do is remain witness to the  unspeakable cruelty happening to some already  and look for ways I might find for solidarity with them,  the Haitian community in Springfield Ohio.    Watch for those who might hold us through in the next times…research,  Are they who they say they are?   Harry Dunn?????  Continue to  look for opportunities for kindness  in my infrequent forays into this small world.   Appreciate all that comes through this blog…US.  Love US.  I am so grateful.  

I re read what i've written here.   I am missing the point.  but i'm not sure what the point is.  So,  enough for today.  This is the meantime.   So,  in the meantime…….

 

 

Posted in

12 responses to “meantime”

  1. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    Onday, she is regal and also, it feels like she knows her time to leave is coming…
    In the meantime, what you have written here, wraps around me and makes good sense to me. We go about our days, with an even more heightened awareness of what’s to come but in order to stay upright, we take each day for what if offers- joy, beauty, unexpected sorrow, it all makes up our lives. If I look at the big picture, it overwhelms so I take each day as it comes, staying open, eyes focused and yes, at times, feeling vulnerable, feeling that all I can offer is my sense of kindness and fairness and wondering if that is enough? I’ve tried to bank my anger because constant rage corrodes…
    AND, it comes to me, that many of us are just feeling our way here; staying vigilant but not becoming a vigilante. If we all just stay open, aware, offering what we can of ourselves, sharing in the way that we can, we will get through these times.

    Like

  2. Tina Avatar
    Tina

    In the meantime … after a week of not feeling well not sleeping well. I woke up this morning fully rested waking up from the most wonderful dream. Grace you were teaching a fabric dying class on an Indian Reservation … so many beautiful children and colored cloth. I was there helping and after the class you invited me to the hill .. we sat for hours just talking on and on about you. I will say you have been on my mind … I feel somehow disconnected lately not just from you but from all my blog friends. Never finding things to say … even in my dream I was silent. But I woke up smiling happy …. We had spent a wonderful day together. 😘

    Like

  3. Angie Avatar

    My heart and soul literally cry over what is to come for our peoples AND our earth, waters and skies. I haven’t been able to park my rage yet but I am trying to not let it rob me completely of any joy at all, and trying to stay open at least to those who try to offer some hope in this world of darkness. Hugs to you, gentle Grace, and to Onday.

    Like

  4. dee Avatar

    What comes through is not just a sense of vulnerability but also resilience. Your capacity to observe, withhold judgement, stay curious — they add up strength, even if cloaked in uncertainty.

    Like

  5. grace Forrest Avatar

    your last paragraph. is. just feeling our way
    we will get through these times
    we will.
    I am grateful to travel with you

    Like

  6. grace Forrest Avatar

    oh my beloved Tina……
    I love so much your dream but wonder what on earth we
    possibly could have talked about me? there?s really so little to say…it’s a Beauty full dream tho, how wonder Full if it would really happen
    disconnected o eee. What might it be?
    you know,…you are here. Every day. Every Night….the
    Tina quilt is an integral part of my life that says: Tina
    I don’t know what this disconnect might be, what purpose it might be serving ,but I can say for sure that if and when you might be ready to Re Consider I am here. Always. Always here for you with LOVE….

    Like

  7. grace Forrest Avatar

    I think we need to just FEEEEL all of it. be real. and at the same time try to leave as much space open for some
    kind of equanimity to find its way ….. in order to
    somehow continue to go forward…I WON”T LET THEM TAKE THAT
    FROM ME
    thank you for being here…it’s part of it…the community of who we ARE
    Big Love to you

    Like

  8. grace Forrest Avatar

    it comes in waves, everything, ebbs and flows sometimes there’s nothing

    Like

  9. Nancy Avatar

    Angie~ Reading your words here, it occurs to me that rage might be an improvement. I’m still stuck in fear.
    Be well,
    Nancy

    Like

  10. Nancy Avatar

    “Are they who they say they are? ” – that’s a big one for me too. Who and what to trust?

    Like

  11. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    The hanging you sent for my husband’s memorial reminds me of you and your words.
    And you are here with me , on my hill, everyday as I come down the stairs and see it in the window.
    Know that you are always with me.

    Like

  12. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    I feel as you do, Angie.

    Like

Leave a reply to Angie Cancel reply