windthread

so…from yesterday…Cucumbers.   Today,  some had grown an inch!…the cucumbers,  not the vines

 

early.

 

this day has moved.  Moved.   

this rock,   from when Emrie and I were along the bank of the creek.  it's WEIGHT is wonder FULL….solid,  substantial,  of Use.  it is so perfectly formed…i wonder if it might be from the Peoples' grinding stones?   is perfect in the palm.  a while back,  when i was down at the Wall Garden,  Next Door Dave's dogs appeared and shortly after,  Dave's woman,  Angela,  dragging their rope leashes all apologizing but at the same time repeating their mantra….they won't hurt anything…they are just curious ….and me responding with ….probably not,  but they cannot be here…

and then in the extended exchange she asked me if i'd found  "artifacts".   and went on to say that she and Dave had come over here through the years and collected MANY artifacts…the grinding bowls/stones,  arrowheads, etc.   That they had them all over their yard.

no…i said.  We have found none.   and internally thought…because you took all of them.

but here.   This stone.  rock.  perfect in the palm.  and there is such a sense of Balance to hold it

 

we're talking now about Next Year.   Already.   We already had this conversation.  Twice.   but here we are,  repeating ourselves.  WHAT do we want to grow?    WHAT do we EAT,  all the time.   Would buy from a store.   Grow that.    

Cucumbers.   Last year they were bitter.  Maybe less water than they needed?   or,  as my Farmer's Market Guy said…"just the long ones.  Only plant the long ones".    Here we have both.  Jenny brought pickling cucumbers,  little plants.    I planted seeds for the "long ones".   We have both.  We do not have the Straight Eights.    I watch them closely.  Some holes in some leaves.  Amongst them  there are more and more Basil,  self seeded from last year.   A and i talked today about making Pesto,  the freezer thing…in an ice cube tray.   No one loves Basil a LOT.  Once in a while is good.  But………Basil  WANTS to grow.  Like,  really.  Really wants to grow.  Lots.  Compromise.  While i studied this,  the Hawks kept their motion above.   I think there must be a nest.  Young ones.   I listen…watch the flight patters,   the design of their coming and going amidst just some TALL PINES.  Basil, Cucumbers and Hawks.

 

 

i didn't want to do Anything today.   Felt FLAT.   

and what always works and is uhhhh,   satisfying,  is picking out the threads of seams.   From clothing,  so,  mechanical seams,  tight.   Slipping the tip of the scissor in and cutting,  above and below and pulling out…it could be tedious,  but it's not…just very satisfying….pulling the old threads out,  freeing the edges…..seeing their fibers…loose.  Free.

 

after READing,  the Wall Garden where i was startled by the size of the Volunteer Tomato.  i'd not looked from this side.

 

, 

and in the middle of it,  i'd taken the keys down to the Honda Car that has not been run for what?,  maybe 2 almost 3 months?,  partly because of its not being legal and partly the StayHome mandate,  but not run,  engine not turned over and i know that's not good but haven't and i take the keys down and expecting to hear NOthING from the battery instead and INSTANT fierce START!!!!!!!!!!!!  and i say to Emrie,  Get IN!  she does and in the front seat…loose and free,  no car seat,  and her eyes are wide and i say to roll down the window and she somehow knows to do that and cranks and cranks it down and we take off.   Backing up and take off     up CareFree Way   to the first drive which is a possible turn and i turn and point us back and ask her if she wants to drive.   Without hesitation she climbs in place and crazy steers us down the road back and when we get there she yells  I DID IT!

 

 

this post is a MeSS.  a real MESS.   it's taken hours to create this mess.  I'm not sure what to think?

 

but this above.  Maybe this will come through,  or maybe it won't.  if it doesn't,  then i'll just give up.

In the morning,   before the Tomato Plant,  before Everything Else,  i read…NYt   Hannah Beech  and the photographer Adam Dean  and article:   In Every Corner of Bangkok,  Spirits Need a Home

Everywhere in Bangkok   in every building,  a tin roofed shack or glass plated skyscraper there are said to be spirits who need placating.   A Coronavirus lockdown is no excuse.    They also require spirit houses which look like doll houses  mounted on pedistals that range from a few pieces of plywood to guilded structures with ornate spires.   the figurines sized to live inside fit in the palm of the hand.

Spirit houses are common throughout Thailand,  Myanmar  and Cambodia.   While not everyone believes,  the practice is widely respected.  All the spirits expect sustenance,   a bunch of bananas,  a coconut,    a mound of stickey rice    Offerings placed infrontof  Spirit Houses in  morning, by home owners or building staff members along with incense and flower garlands…often marigolds

Nongrak Puwasawodi,  Spirit Communicator enters a trance and advises people on the spirits druthers   In times of econonic crises,  they scale back their expectations.  "like now with the coronavirus  they will be happy with  a glass of water for refreshment.   But in a more fortunate time,  a strawberry Fanta."

I LOVED.   loved so much reading this…about these spirits and  how the people respond to them….going to great lenghts to please them  and it made me want to Stitch some….spirit houses,  Who knows Who might Show UP

sitting    as it all rolls out.   Pause.

Listen.   Watch.   Listen.

a red thread.    a flag,  a signal…something Important,   heart beat.  pulse.

 

the first of the Bell Peppers to flower.   5.   5 peppers?

Peggy asked about SPideR.   this was from a while ago…but everytime i touch a leaf,  he appears.   The Mullein is bigger and so is he.

and to Acey,  yes.   probably tomorrow?  soon,  for sure,  i will harvest some leaves to hang and dry.   I think about this Plant who chose to BECOME  in the midst of the Wall Garden.   I see no other Mullein around.   Just this single One.   And in this Time,  when Breath is so much in our awareness….this Plant that aids breathing.   I acknowledge her Presence,  her Choice to be here.

the Mullein  that simply APPEARED here last year.   That's a yardstick.    No sign of the central flowering spire yet.  A very Green spider lives near the central leaves.   Everytime i look,  he appears.    

 

and here we are.   At the suggestions ongoing of  Typepad Help techs  Anna Marilyn and Jen…..i added an additional step when uploading pics ….with Alyssia's help in interpreting their words to my clicks…..and we are back to where everything WAS.  it's awkward.   But it works.   I am just going with it.   Too many other things needing Energy in these days.  

Tomorrow will feel like beginning again.  Beginning again is a good place to return to and go from.

She has been squat.  Compact.   and then, two days ago she began to change,  just looking different, day 1.   Day 2,  suddenly Tall.   She has begun a vertical life…stems are changing into stalks that i am sure will become branches of her Bushness.

even though this small image really bothers me,  i want it here because i like so much what happened today.   How these  two pieces caught my eye when i was lost in thought and brought to life a different version of this  story….how that can happen…just out of no where

• ADDENDUM
• this is Saturday morning.  Jude fixed it.    an Ask…..look at this Cloth of scrap.  go to sidebar here and look while
• listening to Mary Gauthier…MERCY NOW 

ADDENDUM # 2

it's Sunday early eve.   

i look more.   Look up at the Cloth that's pinned on the wall ahead of me,  over and across this small living space.  Look at its image here on this screen.   Am not ready to move away from it here,  on the screen.   Nothing with Typepad is resolved.  If i leave it i won't be able to post it like this again.   Not ready for that.    To be clear,  Jude came INto windthread and from inside,  was able to correct the size.   She might be able to help me learn to do that.   We'll see.  

today i woke thinking how it feels that …….clothmaking….is a Spirit.  An energetic Entity.   that we engage With.   i thought about how it had felt for the months that i just could not begin a Cloth.  How nothing was there for it.  and just day after day felt that blank.  ascribed it to the state of the world?   and then,  the day that i was able to find and place the initial 3 pieces together,  and then wait.   While waiting i had many thoughts about what this central Arch might be.   a place,  a space to take the Grief?  and then other things until its most recent message which came as a complete surprise.   i remembered a book.   from 40 years ago.  The Kin of Ata are Waiting For You.  i had not thought of that book in so long.  When i read it at that time,  1971 or 72,  i'm not sure what it meant to me,  a 30 year old just forming woman.  i remember that a lot of it made me uneasy.  i remembered one thing that i loved.   The people of Ata had a Place.   called Holka.   "the holka is to help us when we have gone very far from nagdeo the Good or when we are afraid we might.  There we go naked back into our mother"  ….the kin emerge from these meditations in the holka  "reborn" to begin again the struggle to attain the ideal….referencing:  Mothers and Masters in Contemporary Utopian and Dystopian Literature Mary E. Theis      The Kin of Ata are Waiting for You   Dorothy Bryant

and i am amazed at how strong that thread is that runs through our life,  through seemingly disparate experiences and phases,  changes in our Selves but the thread running strong and true to what seems to be what Caroline Myss calls our Contract

and i am grateful to the clothmakingSpirit for staying near and waiting until i was ready.

 

 

ok.    i double clicked and selected large.   saved.   the dimensions of the image are now correct

BUT  the pic is half the size that should  (and always has) appear.

i double clicked again and  selected Full.   the pic continues to be this size.  it will not revert to full.