windthread

forecast for tomorrow and Sunday….100% chance of RAIN.   and ordinarily,  that means rainy day.  pretty much all day or for sure,  all day.  so i need to bring in.

 

 

too long to fit on the PVC wall.    Which tells me a couple things,  one,  how big that Wall was in the ROOM in New Mex…there was a lot of space on either side.  But also,  folding the sides in,   it can be done.    Just a lot will need to happen OutSide on the Cloth Line.   That's ok   and yes.  the Cloth of Evolution will be here.   pretty much like this.    The stitching that came through is how that evolution went and became,  is,  now.   The evolution that is portrayed  on this side is really,  hardly begun.  it will be just guessing

the top of the butterfly.  i like this.  will leave,  as is.

 

this Scrub Oak is just behind the place where the Triteleia laxa,  the Flower of Hope,  is.  I stood.  squated.  a long time.  Taking this Tree in.   I think it is very OLD.   i will need to look more to say anything about why there is the sense of that.  But i think it is very Old.  Behind it is the far side of the meadow of  Campsite A.     It's along  CareFree Way   and across from it on the other side of the road,   is the seasonal stream that is also a part of this parcel.  Parcel. what a funny word.        it stands Sentinal there.   Singular.  Unlike the Trees of this Hill Forest who,  tho individual,  feel to be All ONE.   

 

when Alyssia and Emrie were leaving yesterday,   they backed up down a ways on Carefree Way,   just looking.   Checking the fence.   She messaged me….LOOK!     We don't know what this Flower Being is.   The blooms are at the top of a 3ft straight stalk.  Long slender leaves rise from the base of that stalk.   I looked in the  Laws Field Guide to the Sierra Nevada.  not there.  We have not seen them before,  but that doesn't necessarily mean they haven't been there.   Maybe we just never have walked down there at this particular time of year when they are blooming?   The plant, leaves,  they rise from is similar to the Soap Root plant.  Seeing this makes me Beyond Happy.   is a true Gift during these days and energizes my spirit and heart.   Earth.   I looked and took these pics as i was heading out for town.   I'll go back tomorrow and look closer,  spend some time.  see if there is more that might help identify them.   

 

 

 

 

on the lower left of the Other Side.    The Gate yesterday…also on the lower left.   i think WAY back…to the NLP training i took,  remember NLP eye accessing….down to lower left….visceral.   Have not thought about that in so so many years

 

maybe this?    the Cloth that helped me understand Evolution….radical change.   That things must come apart,  things that have been static that no longer serve.   to evolve,  free,  they must come apart.   at some point,  the momentum of that will turn,  and new form will occur.   but the dissolution is necessary.  

the grocery.  Post Office Box Lobby.   BACK HOME.  like a boomerang.   Gloves.  Hand Sanitizer.  No mask.   Few people wearing masks.   some.  not many.  and not many gloves.   there are barriers now to protect cashiers.  Even at the local Lakeside. Theirs with 2x4s and plexiglass.   The shops "downtown" by the Post Office….all closed.  Very few  streetpeople even.  Where are they?  I get my Tea brand at Raley's,  a kind of upscale grocery.  No hand sanitizer at the door.  ZERO paper products.   Zero California local Lundberg Basmati Rice.   2 or 3 of the usual MANY kinds of dry beans and lentils.   

there is a WORLD of difference between  the flower Being along the road and the "marketplace".   There is nothing in common.  The FEEL,   nothing in common.   late in the afternoon i gave water and attended to the Feeling of that.   Attended to the spontaneous joyfullness of the Plant Beings.   I told them,  how i went into the world of a      virus      .   I told them how much i want to continue living.   Didn't go any further.   just that.  

i forgot to give Talkie her meal worms….because the location of the evening feeding routine has changed.  And needing to give water in the Curry House.   So she had given up and gone off,  but remembering,  i called her…yelling out her name and there she came…RUNNING as fast as her chicken legs could go….running running up the road to the sound of her name….how there is so much to love about that…that a chicken can be Far Away but being called,  will come.  as fast as she possibly can.  from a long distance.

 

Spirit Cloth.   3   Big Cloth.   I'd thought the Daughter Cloth.   Let it go at that.  But   this morning went to find the Magic Diaries Cloth.    and looking…there in the low left corner,  the Gate.   A perfect image of the Gate,  back,   in New Mex.   How did i do that?….i have no memory of this,   but here it is.   This Cloth is 6 ft  x  45".   Big.  Big Enough.

 

it's so faded.  It once was a beauty Full blue.  All those years, either on the Wall in theRoom,  or in the Window…  a ghost of how it began…the color of sand.  But then…how so True.  

 

some things remain the same,   but carry Through.    to   Here.    Now.   Carry Through.

 

 

potato that wintered over

 

a single Miners Lettuce that self seeded in the raised bed at A.

 

they live.   The clover and the Crazy Grass all among them…i pull  to free space for them.   Free sunlight.   I don't know what to do.

 

the mullein,  her second year when a spire and a bloom will come.   And on the wall behind and above,  a beautyful example of that Crazy Grass…it's tenaciousness,  fierceness that you just have to marvel at

 

the across the road neighbor.   This is across Carefree Way.   They raise horses but also alternate pasturing of cattle,  sheep and sometimes even Goats.   Geese.  Chickens.   It's a very Vocal place.  All day you can hear the doings there.   There is no access to CareFree road…their entry is at  the top of their Place and over at the far side,  above the rooster swamp.

i went down early.   my bag that Deb Lacativa sent some long time ago full with what i might need…coffee in a thermos,  the phone,  pencil and paper,  u nails for the cucumber trellis,  other stuff….   intending to spend the day.  and i did.   no hurry. None.   I did things and sat inbetween the doings.    All into the time to do the evening feed of Goats and they were somewhere else,  so i leisurely filled their pans that are outside that A garden fence now that Caroline and the two little ones are sequestered.  I don't know where they were,  so i just went out in the road up and CALLED,,,,GOAtS!!!!   Come Come…GOATS!  Onna,  Onday!!!!!   ComeCome and they did,  like a herd of buffalo,  raising dust.   Here…you would never know that there is What There Is Out There.    Here there is no sign of it.   It's vibratingly Alive  and ALIVE and WELL…it is so so WELL.  I think of this.   The virus is organic,  it is a living thing,  rising up from the same Earth?   Being "born" and living.   ???????   

 

 

 

 

 

Alyssia and Emrie came to bring the batteries and ice.   To go through the Imperfect Food list.   I went out to meet them at the car.   Helped unload.   Emrie made a B line for the door and i looked to Alyssia…????  yes or no….and she looked off and nodded.  So it was like it always was/is.   We spent a lot of time with the baby Goats,  Emrie giving love and more love and holding and kissing.  We moved in one of the table benches for them to climb on,  jump on because this morning they were using Caroline for that.  It's a long,  high enough bench…i'll take a pic tomorrow…to satisfy their DESIRE.   for now.   We sat at the table IN here and went through the seeds.   Emrie played with her loved things while we did that.   

we don't know.   

They are taking all the Plaquenil.   The one single drug that she uses for the Lupus.   The one single drug she uses for anything.  it slows the progression.   She cannot get a refill.   

when she was leaving,  she said out the window….do you want some masks?   I stood there…. just looking and thinking….and i don't know.   Should I?     I said i don't know….what is she doing?,   Not the masks yet,  but she doesn't know either.  We don't know.    I said….i'm waiting for something to signal   TIME…..she nodded.   And so we go.

i stitched Her a dress…or,  an underdress.  a slip.   Slips.  no one wears slips anymore.   But an underdress that i can baste thing to.   impermanent things.   Just for looking,   for sensing.    Today,  one of the little prayers.   

 

i want to put things here that are comforting,  uplifting,  energizing,   BeautyFULL,  creative and creatively  inspiring.   IMMEDIATE.    But Alas.

Acey said something that i love….i asked in an email if i could  quote it here and it is late in the day and i think she is off line now,  the 3 hours difference,  her and me,   

OH YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   she just said    "Sure".  (i was going to trust that it would be ok and post it )

What she said was…

"i will just focus on what i know to be true and trust love to flow outward from there…."

so…what's most important to me…paramount …..is love,  in this time of Unknown.   We need  Love as an anchor,  All kinds of love,   coming to us and emanating from us….we need,  like really NEED love.   in any form at all.    In any time frame at all.  Immediate love or love that takes  long coming.   

And know that i LOVE everyone that comes here,  known or unknown,   that i wish for US ALL,  days of Beauty,  of  Joy amidst the confusion and fear.   That i wish.  Wish so much to bring Pretty,   but  although so many things cannot help but be Pretty,  like a flower's blossom,  i won't  uhhhhh,   "manufacture"  any sense of pretty.   

Do you get what i'm struggling to say?   Maybe i don't even need to say it…?   

i just spent a long time on the PHONE with Sparrow in Michigan…long time and we wandered through this…and

i hope all is just OK.  

 

everyone came today.   Jenny and her man earlier,  bringing bales of feed.   She also brought cucumber starts,  onion starts and a jalapeno.    We sat OUT with the kid goats,  marveling.   Laughing.   She took the propane tanks down to Lakeside and when she went in to pay,  they have erected 2×4 frames with plastic in front of the registers to protect their cashiers who are now wearing nitrile gloves.   She reached into her pocket and handed the change from the $50 i'd given her…Cooties she said.   I pocketed it,  the Cootie money.   It's there,  right now.  in my right pocket of my levis.   I did wash my hands,  but…..

Alyssia and the kids came  to bring ice for the refrigerator and batteries for this laptop and the phone.  They went right away OUt to the Kidding House,  the Curry House,   and hung out there,  playing with the Two Babies and it was such JOY on the part of the kid Goats and for them….Such Silliness,     But then when they came out,  she got the kids into the Car…i said….you aren't staying?  and she said No….i want them to get used to not coming IN. ….the cooties. 

O.

So.

Things ratchet up.   

for right now,  the Cooties Rule.   i feel sad.   Particularly….i miss Emrie here.  IN here,   how she is….showing me things,  telling me things.   I didn't ask Alyssia more….she is how she is,  and talks about things as she can.   I don't know her PLAN. Maybe she doesn't really have one yet.   Maybe she's winging it in the moment,  an experiment,   and so we go.    For the third day,  Talkie has laid her egg down in the feed house,  in the Buck's grass hay.   One needs to be careful not to squash it.  It rained off and on,  tomorrow forcasted to be the same but then after that,  warm and SUNny.   I will PLANT

EARTH:   teach me.   Please.

 

i look at Her.   I "dressed" her.   in a single scrap,  a leaf  and the sprig of dried miner's lettuce.   it's Enough.   More than  enough.   Great satisfaction in this.   (Kathy O….another Little Bird)

 

 

Hollyhock's second year

 

in the little A meadow,  down by the grapevines….not there last year.   Tiny.   There are many.   I think about how so many plant beings have 5 petaled blooms

think more about "what i say,"   or would say,  in the forest here.   to the presence of the Trees,   the Earth.   How the constant play of that mind tape is meaningless.    How Breath,   sound,   as in toning,   is  Of this Place.   How "words",  that are visuals,  can have meaning.   But the endless ceaseless whir of words means nothing and actually might be uncomfortable to a leaf.

i have no memory of this.   Woke this morning to find it.    Maybe at the end of the night,  when trying to close everything Out?  or….maybe a Selfie.  

 

 

Thinking today.   What might it be like if all that is going around in my mind could be said Out Loud,   in this forest?   How would it sound?    If the TREES and understory listened.   What would they hear?   What might it Mean to Them?   What sense might they be able to make of it?,  the ever repeating tapes?   How would   this FEEL to this Forest?    

  

cheese cloth is not the ideal stuffing.   Nor is the urgent technique i fell into…..fast….just fill.   But it's all ok.  I know what i wanted to know.    Can i make a figure easily and with no need for "preciousness".    Can  i  make a  figure  to  simply  receive a blind urge.   yes.    I used to make and sell  "angels".  sewed by machine.  I could do that blind after a while.   Many hundreds of them.   I used colorfully dyed  mohair  yarn for hair….each  strand individually stitched into place.  There were Guardian Angels and Wish Angels.  They had words.   The wish angels had instruction.    That seems another lifetime.   I used to make "art dolls"  fiber bodies and the carved faces and hands.   Hundreds of them.  Some lifesize.   I used to use Alyssia's face to make the gauze and plaster strip mask for the lifesize ones.  She was maybe 6, 7, and 8 years.   That's from another life,  too.   

it's been a loooooong time.   Why this, why now?