windthread

it's here,  Rain.   

there is Release.   

things are different.   Chicken requires different  accommodation,    Goats feed in different places,  Raincoat is found,  wool hat.  Umbrella.  Tay needed a new rug from the Dollar Store.   Clothing in layers,  several.  

but most of all,  there is Release.

I thought about it,  that there has been NO measurable precipitation since May.   I thought about how in the desert land of New Mexico there are the monsoon rains late summer and  now and then great electrical storms here and there.   Here,  its an extreme.   No measurable precipitation since May.   Those words should be in Neon.   And that is not due to anything other than how it is here in this magical Place of the Planet.   How it is.

rain taps on the roof.   Everything is being washed clean of the dust of the Long Season.  All stones glisten.   Branches outlined against the sky,  remaining leaves green green green.   I am seeing it differently this time and am so grateful for being Taught…the stunning results so far of Evolution,  So Far, 

  Of thousands of years that culminate in this day,  so far,  that will continue to evolve and re~create as need be.  

of my Self,  just the third year in,  but evolving,  receiving the Rain with great Gratitude.

a week or so ago.  On the far side of the B garden,  near the Gate end  where in the dry grasses,  dry earth, a pile of manure and straw from last year's cleaning of the Doe Goat Shelter…that I'd hauled to the B garden on that tarp sled.

 

 

Today.  I stopped counting at  67.   So many more,  hidden still under dry grasses.  It felt like i was violating some sacred space to look.  I quit counting.  There are at LEAST  twice as many.  

There has been NO,  zero,  measurable precipitation since May.  Northern California has experienced its driest autumn on record to date….paraphrase California Weather Blog.

Each spore is a single cell that is capable of sending out a hypha that will develop into a group and form its own mycelium.  If the hypha of one spore meets up with the hypha of another,  it begins the sexual process of spore production through special spore producing cells.   bio.brandeis.edu

 

 

 

 

 

my theory is:     They know.    They SENSED that Rain was imminent.   and so began,  in order to be READY in the so precise moment to Just Go.    So spectacular,  to me,  their knowing.    To them,  the Just Going.

Over at Deb Lacativa's house,  morewgalo.blogspot.com,  on her sidebar,  for years….that i have noticed by the corner of my eye,  today….in Neon.

By all that is sacred.

The breath and the breeze

The spark and the flame,

Emotions and tides,

The bone and the oak

The soul and the spirit.

                        The Circle is cast.

This is the invocation i spoke today on the Eve of Rain,  on this Rim…a so thin rim of   "season".  I closed my eyes and saw horizontal ripples of a kind of spiral surrounding this Hill and extending,  flowing out,  quickly and returning and circling and flowing out again,  over and over….Shimmering.    May it be so

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

every single night it's the same.  The only things that differ are the time of day that night falls and the number of coverings to accommodate temperature.   The two baskets of cloth.  The pile of books….half moved at a time.  They're heavy.  They go to the other side of the Everything Table,  across from where my place is.

 

the three big pillows go on top of the baskets.  It's precarious.  Looking at this pic,  a lot of things look precarious,  a little askew,  but it's how it is at the end of the day,  no matter my good intentions.

 

the coverings that have been folded up and set as a large pillowish thing during the day are unrolled and the bed is made.  In the last days,  the old  faded  pinkish wool blanket has been added. 

I think about this a lot,  as i do it.   A way to keep some kind of order.    In the morning,  the coverings get folded up and stacked again,  the pillows arranged,   the book pile moved back,  then the two baskets,  the smaller sitting atop the larger.  Things that are askew  are straightened.  The bench seat across from me is empty.   In the case someone(s) will sit there.    How it is at old nana's.  

Jenny came to finish the new feed Thing for Sunny Ray and Jack.  I went off to the ritual of the recently planted B garden.  That ritual is new.  And newer still with the Fig being planted.   I have taken up saying things aloud,  in a very quiet voice,  but somehow speaking aloud means something.  On the way there,  walking over,  i speak this way to the forest of Trees,  stopping now and then to touch them with my eyes.   Soon it will become How it Is,  like this bedtime ritual.  Other things might be added.

repetition.   Some out of  necessity,  some for something Else entirely.  

 

 

 

 

i finished the book.   Read too fast,  wanting to know what he would say,  as the last words and i went too fast and am not sure what he said.  Who are the learners?   this is the foremost question and i know that i have a literal mind for some things,  so ,  probably how i missed it,   so i need to go back.  Read some end pages again,  get his picture.   Right now,  it's vague for me,  maybe because i     hoped.

the Beauty Full small bats flew in the evening sky,  their flight,  low.  So close overhead,  the fluttering  wings,   tender and elegant.  I want to know them.  Where ARE they,  all summer?   Where do they sleep now,  in these days between summer and Rain?  Where are they?,  before they appear with their particular flight each evening  when Talkie is already UP in her branches?  So many questions.   That i understand might remain unanswered.   But i want the voice of my asking to rise up in the closing of this day,   that i asked.   I guess that's a lot of all that i can do.   Ask.  Wonder.

as i was told….Tay and i went to the Old Fallen Tree again.    She is very intensly interested.  She smells.  Long and Deep but she doesn't disturb a single thing.   I sat.   Then before leaving,  rested my hand.   Leaned over and placed my ear against Old Fallen Tree.   Silence.

 

 

at the end of next week,  when Rain comes,  everything will change.   It will be immediate.  Things have waited Long,  are Ready.

what is this large leaf?   Only one?

 

what am i supposed to do?   

I walk out.   in the morning,  over to where the fallen tree lays.   Where i don't want to go.   I took  a glass full of Acey's  lamas 11

i asked.  What am i supposed to do?????

Come here.  look.  watch. 

   And later,  just a little while:   Bring her.

When she came,  just  a little while later  we did stuff,  just outside the door here and i said do you want to go talk to the trees and she said yes and we went.   She practices how to walk  without getting tangled in things,  she learns and we got to Over There where the Old Fallen Tree is and she stopped cold.   "NO,   old nana.  Scare"   So we stood awhile.  She wouldn't come closer.  Scare.   So we just looked.  and went off.  Later,  in the "house" ,  she revisited.   Scare, Nana,  she said and i said fallen.  It fell.  Now is a world to many things.  She listened with 2 year old ears and heard.   i said.  Do you want to go back and see?  Yes she siad.   Things take time.

 

 

i wake up and begin reading again.   I have been folding over the tips of the pages that i need immediately accessible…maybe just  one sentence,  but that sentence.    I do the cry no cry thing.   Get over it and then two pages later,  again.

looking out the windows,  there are 5 windows from where i sit at the Everything Table,   all i see is Trees.  I am surrounded by Trees,  encircled by Trees,  held by Trees here in this travel trailer on a Hill in Northern California,  the last place i would have ever imagined myself to end up.  Roots run underneath this travel trailer.  Closing  my eyes and imagining this,  i can't.  There must be such a thick  net.  I want to work at trying to picture this.   It's cold…45 degrees,  a little warmer in here,  but i haven't yet used the heater.   Closing the door at night has been enough of a separation,  heat  is the final isolation  from them.

They are  waiting.   2 days toward  the end of the 10 day forecast offers 50% chance of Rain.  They wait how they always have,  how they know how to do.  

 

now and then i pick up and hold the small heavy black Buddha that Joanne sent me.  I don't know what it's made of  but it's heavy and its heaviness helps.

Am half way through.   I don't know what i expected,  but i did not expect this.

i quit reading fiction long ago.   The last was Louise Erdrich,  who i love beyond love.  I don't read it because i have no life then.  My life is in the pages,  the words,    I hurry through necessity so i can return to my life,  which is happening in the pages of the book.    I don't know what i thought i might find in this book but i have found 

what i needed to find.

half way.  I don't know where it's going at this point.  I am uneasy but totally compelled.  There is more truth here than anyWhere i've been for so long.  Is it True?,  this is Fiction.  But is it True?  I went to pick up the dear Honda Car from the Emissions mechanic today.  It's been a week again.   This time they replaced leaking hoses .  3.    Alyssia and Emrie gave me a ride there.    It's better,  but the consensus is that i need a whole new carburetor.   OK,  but they don't do that.    Don't now anyone in Oroville that does.  Maybe Chico.   I leave and head for the grocery store and at a corner see a 

TREE

i am startled by it.

There are trees Everywhere in Oroville.  Zillions of trees and at the corner of  Robinson and Lincoln,  there was a single most magnificant tree.   Why didn't i take a pic of it?   I don't know,  but i was filled to the brim with the Sense that so many trees in this small town/city  were touching roots…touching

and that the power people PGandE  were going to shut down the electricity at 4pm  AGAIN because of high Fire threat….and the book so far says nothing about Fire and Trees and might not,  but  here,  it's Fire and Trees and i want to get back home so i can get back into my real life inside the pages of the book  so i hurry.

 

and i understood.   Finally,   today,   something about this Cloth that has been on the Wall Curtain for i guess months now.  I can go forward with it.   I finally understood its language.

 

to dig a hole,  for planting a small tree.  This is the tool.   You kneel or squat.  After a while, end up  sitting.   Feel with your fingers and find the perimeter by fingertip.   Then,  this tool.   Moves  down along the edge and over time creates enough of a gap that  the  Rocks are loosened and can be lifted out by hand.   For this one,  i filled the hole with water and will wait till tomorrow to try again.  Once it's out,  i think i can plant the Fig.  This is the third day i worked on this hole.  

 

tilting the paper just a little…in morning Sun….the graphite looks like silver.

"graphite pencils produce grey or black marks that are easily erased,  but otherwise resistant to moisture,   most chemicals,  ultraviolet radiation and natural aging."  wikipedia

and with kneadable erasers,  you can just press,  just firmly,  and lift the mark away,  layer by layer,  particles by particles.

graphite is Magic.

this sits on the Everything Table.  as do the InkTense pencils.   In case.   

this is where the In Case went this morning.

not far.

I don't know what's going on.  Something,  i guess.  

I rearranged Sunny Ray and Jack's water  tub  and mineral tray.   Fluffed up their new feed bin.   Filled Talkie's food carousell,  checked her water.  Collected EGGS.

Minerals to the Doe Goats.  Their water.  

filled two buckets with manure and feed scrap and carried down to the newly planted  Grevillea lanigera  down in front of the grape vine fence.  With some apprehension because they are so newly planted and i'd not gone since Friday.  But there they were,  all green and vital and with NEW blossoms.   Troweled in some of the manure and then gave the rest to the far grape vine.

Made some mashed potatoes.  Didn't eat them yet.

I don't know.   There's just a sense of Something,  and i don't know.  I DO know that Mercury is in retrograde.  Whatever that means in this particular time

Otherwise…i drift.  WONDER stuff.   Float.