windthread

 

 

i get up about 5 am and make the first tea, go out and sit under the Old Apricot.  to just watch it all unfold into a new day.   Destinary is a sleeper,  will sleep till 10 or so if there's no reason not to.

Julian gets up about 6:30 or 7 and meanders out to sit with me.  We look together.  This morning we talked about the change i made to this world,  about how the shell bowl and the abalone shell were for any toads.  We talked about other things…whatever came into his mind.  Finally.  it's taken what,  5 days.?   He's gotten up and come out everyday,  but today he gave things words.  Things take him time.  He brought out this paper…many of his small images on it and some kind of graph lines.  It was a sign for the toads he said.  He'd made it the evening before.  It says: " All Toads Welcome.  In the morning, day and in the night.  You can do anything you want to.  You are Welcome."  and he placed it, added a couple of things and was satisfied.  

 

 

Winter Bitch said….Go.  go OutSide.  Go.  Go make a world, grace

i would love to be called into a forum of human beings to share,  to talk,  to Try

to understand

What on Earth are we DOING????????????????????

first thing in the Morning is always good.   Julian comes out when it's my second tea.  We talk.  Whatever comes to his mind.  It's easy and well,  good.  Third tea for me,  the two toads lumber through from the raised bed of Russian Sage,  across,  under our chairs,  over to the Iris beds by the wall of the house.  But this morning,  on my way in ,   a Spa.  Which was a pot put for son's Jack Russell Terrier who was too short for Tay's bucket water….

then the day kind of went how they seem to go,  the ……..boredom………taking hold,  the temp climbing to 100 degrees and we negotiate even small things.  keep just going.  BUT, then,

 

to the left,  if standing on the back porch, facing the Way Back of the Doe Goats

they discover the lean to that i put together as a wind/rain break that the Goats have NO interest in.

 

 

the obligatory say cheese thing  they are trained to do

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she is on the curtain.    the West window.  She watches.  I know she is Watching.  

When do we talk to children about   "entitlement".  Not using that word because it's too

nebulus

but about what it means.   Which in the moment means that there is a  "snack" maybe every 1/2 hour and a constant flow of liquid from a plastic bottle of some sort??????

Do we 

not

say stuff?  Because it's not 

fun?

What does an 

OLD

nana 

do?

 

a Beauty Full  oh so light green Toad  with creamy white feet and underside,  never before seen?????????????????????

 

a sprinkler.  to make up for the fact there's no TV or Xbox.  Ok….

Winter Bitch watches.

 

haven't found any rhythm yet.  Still looking.

These are Giana,  going on 3.  The very first,  when she got here,  Tay in her face,  and  there were BUGS…as in flies and if you looked,  little beetles, some ants….BUGS!!!!!!!  as in EEEEEEEEEEEEEE for her….E as in a high pitched scream.

 

she pointed to her feet…..GROUND….. she said,  gramma, Ground!!!!!!!! and i said yes.  It's everywhere here.  That about did her in but then she went in the house and had her mother get out her protective wear,  came back out and hooked in to the Just Going.

 

the next morning.   

 

 

refusing to look

 

but then….

 

i'll need to go back for a few others,  but yesterday afternoon,  after Julian talking with his mom on the phone about the possibility she had ordered the 

wrong color

case for the Replacement Kindle that had gotten stepped on in the melee,   he going into one of the deep places he has when he needs to mull over things,  he is still 6 in so many ways,  and NOT wanting to "share",   not buying any of the maybe helpful  thoughts i could think of,  

 

a while later he came Out Side  and handed me this….saying …..I DO NOT want to talk about it but  this is the explanation.

More Later.  

 

 

 

double click

BIG LOVE from here to All of Us and circling around.

Waiting.  and feeling DONE with preparation but just still cooking stuff.  

Waiting.  I've turned on all the lights in the house and it's still dim.  The porch light hardly makes a dent in the DARKNESS out There.  Goats have tucked themselves in.  It's Still.  Oscillating fan ocillates.  

I seem to have bought enough extra pillows for the world.  They bring their pillows but for some reason i got xtra ones,  the Dollar Store.  2 for $5.  Why do i have so many Pillows?

I think about her driving.  Driving.  Driving.  Straight through.  She is Driving right now as i write this.

She.  Her.  Alyssia.  Grand Daughter.  The woman who bore her brother's child,  that child.  Her own son.  The girl who needed a place.  They accompany her as she drives.  She called to say they were 5, maybe 6 hours away.  She is coming Here,  which for her means so many things.  She's driving,  straight through to get Here.   

i click Kidjo.  Adouma.  i click again.  In the dark,  this.