windthread

the Observer sees that the woman who lives here has worn very certain paths in the Place.  These  marks of her footpalms are maps of a life that she has created for her Ease.  That Ease includes a kind of drift where she moves without thinking.   and the Observer sees that this has been disrupted by the dog.    The dog moves more like a bird…fast,  overland,  fast.   The woman continues to move according to her patterns and the dog weaves all around her…in out over through back and forth round and round.  

 

at work today,  i deadheaded these from a plant by her garden.  Bundled them.  We'll see.  They are similar to Echinacia  sp  but are not.  

 

had woven this little cloth as a way to feel like i could participate in Jude Hill's  Considering Weave at the mothership Spirit Cloth.   Truthfully,  i thought i would eventually just take it apart and use the pieces elsewhere.  But it's been on the wall.  and Especially because it is perfect on the plant dyed cloth that i couldn't imagine ever possibly Using,  because of it's Beauty,….but here…the little just trying weave fits so well…so i added some things.

 

i particularly like this thin strip under the spirit eyes.   Makes a big difference.

 

 

 

 

 

am finding Words tricky lately.  Finding sometimes i don't have much patience with Words.  They can mean so many things to so many people.    Including of course, my Self.

So i took a day off.   Other than go  visit Alz. B,  i did,   Not Much of anything at all except feed self, feed Goats, feed dogs and cat.  Give Water.

And i did something that i have done, now and then,  which is to take my self Out of my self and appear in my life as an Observer.   I imagine that i am the Observer.  I showed up at the gate,  outside it,  and came in.   The woman who lives here  (me) knew ahead of time that she was supposed to just go about her day.  Knew she was being observed,  but still,  to just go about her day as she ordinarily would.    The Point,  the point is to try to find some objective sense of what's going on here.   Because sometimes,  she   (I)  is  (am) so engrossed,  there is almost some kind of disconnect.   and again,   words are not so much my Friend right now.   so to try to clarify what i might want to mean by ….disconnect….,  well.  it would take too many words.   I don't have the energy or, really,  the interest to try.    

So,  i watched her.   How she goes.  How she is so focused on the Place.  The inhabitants of the Place.  She Goes.  going going going.   What does it all Mean?,  all this going?

So am thinking i need more time to Observe.  ok.  

 

 the Verdolaga is popping up Everywhere.   A plant person that is said to be a weed plant,  but that has more nutritional value than pretty much anything we might buy in a store.   It's other name is Purselane.  Google it.  Lots there to read and my guess is that pretty much all of us might have this growing all around.  It's FOOD.  Very Good FOOD.

 

the Borage has begun to bloom.

back to the Dog Diaries.   It's all somehow just a single elongated moment that stretched from sometime  Wednesday on……and i have no clear thinking of at what point things happened,  changed.   It 's kind of a blur.   I think i tried to be diligent with the suggestion of the dog trainer  through Wednesday and on into sometime Thursday.   And the level of tension here Rose.   At some point,  i think Thursday, during the night,  when i woke at maybe 2 or 3,  i understood clearly that i could not do that.  couldn't.  it was so out of my own sense of Anything,  that to try would be the biggest dis service to All.   That, coupled with other things made me come to  the point of  needing to return Tay.    So, in the meantime, in the middle of the night i watched Cesar Millan on UTube.  Episode after Episode.  It was interesting because there are a lot of dog sounds in those videos,  but both Tay and Chinche slept.  I watched.   And from whenever it was,  i just was me.  This is such a small home,  Tay and Chinche are not far from me at any given moment.  And OutSide,  i found it easy to distract Tay all the time by my own necessary movements, with the Goats,  the Giving Water.  Just NORMAL everyday things.   It RELAXED.    Everything, Everyone relaxed.   Stuff began to flow.  Today has been a Good day.   A day of attention,  but a day of attention that made sense to everyone.   So…we'll see.   I'll keep trying.  Watching.  Thinking.  With always the openness to the reality that this might not be the place for Tay.   I accept that totally.

 

Tay sleeps in her crate.   When i let her out of it this morning at day break,  she picked up her "toy" ratty chewed up pink rabbit and went directly to Chinche who slept just feet away on her quilt….

dropped it there and went on with her morning.   This said a lot.  This was something that she should have been corrected for.   So…i watch.  closely.  Trying to see what can happen.

 

a RAINBOW!   a Morning Rainbow…with no Rain…and to the West Rim!!!!!!   I have never seen this before.

 

took it off the box loom.   Just some very small invisible baste,  to its Self and to that piece of cloth that Marti and i dyed.   How good it is.  Simple.  Nothing much at all,  but the Feeling of it is Huge.

 

the first jar of Coriander.  Aeromatic s.p …………put one seed in your mouth and the World Opens.

 

 

i wondered how the kantha would change this one….the choice of thread… i think it's ok.  Will look again tomorrow and if not,  take it all out and try again.

4th of July,  Independance Day is my Least Favorite Amerikan Holiday.   We cling.  cling to a very primitive form of celebration….making huge noise, cracks and crashes…clinging to this as the way  to express Freedom.  How odd.  

 

made a little box loom in keeping with Considering Weave,  Jude Hill,  Spirit Cloth.  Remembering how soft they are,  these scrap weaves,  but also how they told me that i could make Anything at all i might ever NEED with just scraps…just shreds of old used cloth.  How Exhilarated i felt,  realizing this.  That there really could never be a worry.  Everything is at hand.  Hand can Make.  All is well and will be well as Hildegaard de Bingen said.   I like very much how the light comes through.

 

out with dog Tay and notice movement which at first set an alarm.   Something similar to those Ants that bite me and make my body part swell to many times it's normal size,  but…this…different so i squat down and watch.  You will need to double click to see it,  this being.  Busy.  busy excavating it's home.  Sand grain by sand grain.  I don't have a clue what it is.  But it is diligently creating it's space….THIS, after the first of the Real Monsoon Storms last night.  Long,  the rain,  Long and Steady.  How it must come if things Wild are to survive.  Not fast and hard…..that runs off and is of little use in the Big Picture.  But last night was Big Picture rain.  More predicted for tonight.    Will soften things.  and soon,  if it continues,  the Spade Foot Toads will RISE UP and fulfill their covenant with this Earth.    am excited.   maybe soon, if all goes well.

 

this morning…going to get a drink,  from the glass house bowl,  there was a cricket floating.   She  studied this for a few seconds,  this cricket floating,  then very Care full y  bared her teeth and lifted the cricket from the water….set it on the floor…and watched with interest as it dragged it's very water logged self under the stove.  She then got a long and very sloppy drink.

Alz B,  Music Thursday.  Her son is vacationing in Maine.

 

not a lot, but more.

 

well…it's the 7th day.   They said it takes 7 days for the whole of the Dog to show up.   OK.  we have it, then.  The whole of the dog.  ok.  

Really,  this is not what i would wish to be writing here.  I would wish to be writing something else.  Something "interesting" to me,  something Beauty Full to me.    Something else.  

But here we have it.   Yesterday was Good.  Really Really Good.  only one comotion in the evening, but otherwise Good.    I think it was because early in the morning, very early,  she suddenly decided to try the dog door and Did.  There was a SOUND and it was very FAST and when my head swiveled, all i saw was the last part of her going through the door.  It is VERY SMALL, for her,  the dog door.   But she somehow wrenched herself through.   And i think,  am pretty sure,  that this is the reason the day went so well.  That she hurt herself a little, or some,   doing that and so she was slowed,  subdued.   But…it gave a Glimpse of how it might be at some point with her,  when she is just the dog here…not the center of a swirling vortex.   You take it as you can,  right?  so ok.

And Chinche.  The Innocent.   Not to think she is not a part of all that 's going on here.  

 

 

fuzzy pic cause of fuzzy doings.   Tay is innocently herself resting in her Breathing Star Crate,  with her 14 ft lead attached…the Red umbilical you see draped along the floor,  to assist in easier correction…so….Tay,  peacefully in her crate and Chinche…for Whatever Reason of her own 

goes to lay just outside the Crate door.  This is NEVER anywhere she would usually lay.   This is an invitation to Tay to come….sniff,  do whatever. A more than a little of a set up.

 

so Tay and i are out of the pic,  Tay being reprimanded for being too energetic.  Me thinking oh Jeez, here we go again.   and Here we went.

I called the dog trainer, Jan.  Explained what my concerns are.  What was happening.  and what we got to is that it's going to take 30 days of constant constant consistensy.  Tay on the 14 ft. lead.  Being corrected everytime she goes in the direction of Chinche.  Even if Chinche sets it up.  CONSTANT CONSISTENCY.  (sy?)  anyway,  that.   It will take that.  and there should be good results.  There's more.  but i just don't have the wherewith all to even Think it,  let along write it here.  I am done in.  At the end of each of these days,  i have sat out with the Goats…talking,  singing,  brushing,  walking,  telling them  telling them what i am trying to do.  They listen.  They watch her through their gate.  They are coming to know her.  and writing that,  i 

soften.

we are Trying so HARD to know each other.  it's not easy and i lose my cool too many times.  I am Old for this.  But i see in this dog Tay a good member of this odd Diorama here.  She will carry us on well.  But for now,  it's HARD.  and in a certain way,  i don't want to Have to do it.  But if i want her,  want what she will Offer in the Long Run,  i need to.  She's up to it.  She's smart.  and She's got what it takes.  I need to have what it takes.   In the very Early Morning hours when i would have meditated,  i find self sitting here in front of this screen watching Cesar Millan,  the Dog Whisperer.  Watching Watching Watching.  Thinking, Thinking,  Thinking.  So.

Is it worth 30 days?  30 days.  3o days.  30 days.  eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

 

small changes here

 

and in the middle of the "driveway"…the space where the truck comes in and out with Goat feed,  in the very middle,  with NO WATER,  NONE….this.  a little blue wild aster.  How Amazing is this?

 

 

 

 

The Tazmeena Tay thing seems to be resolved.   but just in case,  knock on wood.  Tazmeena spent her morning as usual.  There was a hiss or two but nothing remarkable.  

 

new tonight.  I don't have a clue whose home this might be.   About 2".    Big.   Not a toad.  Under the tomato plant.

 

cilantro making BeautyFULL seeds

 

a Work Away day that was draining and sad…Old Cowboy day,  him thinking what to do with family photographs…his mother,  his daughter that was killed in a car accident at 17 yrs.   So, when back home,  my energy was depleted.   Stitched some small Microbes in the center.  A beginning.

 

 

was Work Away day for me and Good Dog Tay spent that time in her Breathing Star crate with a marrow bone.    and i have no Energy for details of all the day held which was a lot with Tazmeena the cat deciding to make a stand instead of drama and it working out fine and with Tay trying to understand why what she does out of Happiness isn't ok.  Too Much and Thunder Man is over there just to the West on that Rim

and i had asked Kathy Dorfer to purchase a Crow Eye over a week ago…like the one Mo has.  It probably arrived Friday or Saturday but i didn't get to the post office till this morning but the Timing was oh so right…today was the day to receive it.  Maybe you remember that Roz made me two very small rectangle forms,  one silver with the triangle and the dot,  one copper with the Goat, and i strung them on black tailor's button thread,  wear them.  The silver now completely black from my sweat.  So i will put the Crow Eye on the same thread.  Needing energy of this trickster.  And would write more about this kind of doing if i could, but i can't…it's not here right now.  About how i gave up "signaling intention"  some years ago, like over 10,  maybe 12, maybe 13,

but that it's rising up again.   And the Crow's Eye is now on my breast.  

I don't yet love this dog.  But i know I CAN.  She is who she is.  She is Dog.  She is Crow.  She is Goat, even.  so similar.  Goat.  She is Goat.

 

 

this morning, before leaving, i had strung a black string,  same as the "necklace" string, from this.  Hung it on the beam that holds the ceiling of the house and the Room in place.   When i got back,

with Kathy's package,  i added the Crow feather that she sent.   I am just staring.  staring.  staring.

 

Tay, tethered for Bad Behavior.  Just moments,  before this,  seconds really,  Chinche was lying no more than 6 ft from her.

 

 

Sky talks 

 

 

 

 

 

All the weaving on Weave Diaries,  Jude Hill, Spirit Cloth…and this is what i came up with.   When i held it up,  it fluttered in the Owen Fan's oscillation…was like a living thing to me….

 

 

Tazmeena spending most of the morning on her food ledge being Effective.  Meaning Tay,  now sometimes Tay a  would approach,  but back off.   Not long toward noon,  i took her,  Tazmeena, out to under the porch.  and so,  another day under the house.  But,  in a certain way,  Nice.  It's cool there.  More than could be said about where the rest of Us were.

 

looking around, she found the potatoe/onion basket under the counter.  Stole a potato.

 

took it into her crate.  It wasn't what she'd imagined.  But she kept it.

I returned the call of the dog trainer Jan.   A lot was exchanged.  But what was most Important was her answer to my question about comotion when Giving Water and biting the hose nozzle.  About why she is so seemingly non responsive to the word   NO.  

Because Dorothy who had her for her first 8/9 months follows Jan's Teaching Advice.    The word No isn't a part of that.   That growly sound….ehhhh,  is not a No,  it is what dog trainer Jan calls an Interrupter.   It signals something.  Only that.  Beyond that,  and this is what i found extremely interesting,  beyond that,  is up to ME.  I don't want her chewing cheerfully on the spray nozzle.  I don't want her in the vegetable bed.  But as Jan explained,  that's nice,  but doesn't mean a lot to her.  With the word NO,  she might stop,  but she would go On,  with something else,  maybe the same,  just with a few minutes interruption.  No gives her no information, really.  Nothing she can work with.   So,  you think ahead.  You REDIRECT.  you ask yourself:  What do i WANT her to be doing?   Not…what do i want her to stop doing.  

What do i want her to be doing?

well, in this instance it would be….Anything.  I don't care….but just to stop the hose nozzle stuff.  

so…setting this up,  i brought one of the Goats water tubs…big….maybe almost 3ft across and 8" deep…maybe more,  and set it in the middle of the raised beds that are in question.   I put her big blue chew thing (should have taken a pic)  in my pocket.   Filled the tub with water,  8 " deep, at least and set about watering.  When she came to see what was happening,  i threw her "toy" into the tub with great splashing.   She retrieved it and RAN circles around the maybe 1/3rd acre,  round and round until she returned it and again….Splash!…her retr ieving and running.  Over and Over and all the while i am cheerfully giving water.  

Yes.  Not just NO,  but what would you Rather they do?  REDIRECT.  i wish i'd known about this when i had teen age kids.