windthread

 

our BeLoved Buckwheat…who went off in the worst storm of 2013 to become Herd Sire at Deadbroke Ranch in Los Cruces

has sired two beautiful healthy doelings.  With Jasmine.  i wish i could put pics here, but they send with a wierd phone camera….but they are excellent little doelings…one so very much like Celia, her half sister here all electric black and white and the other totally BLACK except for a white FLASH at the end of her tail…which is unusual

BEAUTY and LOVE and HAPPINESS

 

sometimes cloth does not want to wait.

do you see the small shape up on that Rim?   it could be anything,,,,…and so, it could be a Wandering Spirit?  because we don't know what they look like…they look like many things.  Today i was thinking about how the other day i saw a Raven walking, carrying something in It's beak…. something unusual.   even that could have been a Wandering Spirit,  being carried.   

so i like how this bit of cloth made me say….Is THAT One?    because it's how i say it.  a flash of light,  an unusual shape,  and i think…Maybe,…..

so it was a very very Good cloth day.

i finished digging out space for the Way Back Gate to open.  not so great, a second day of digging, but it's done.  Ready.  and this might seem like more procrastination, but no MOVE yet.  Lucky Star, Snow Bunny and Onday were VERY MUCH in heat today….LOUD……agitated how it is.  it lasts about 24 hours at that intensity.  Not the best moment to begin.  so i wait for them.  

and having begun stitching on those shapes that were the Rims….half way through i saw them to be heavy and took them out.  

 

These are Rims.   closer.  I think so.

And again,  i am thinking about Story Cloth.  to what length do you go for the Story?  

 

 

 

 

 

So.   again…that old Unforseen.

 

 

in order for the gates into and out of the pens to be Free,  i had to dig them free.  little was i aware that in the year and a half they've been here they could create SO MUCH new earth.  New Earth,  that's really something to think about.  i never would have imagined.  this is the Front main pen gate and i had to dig down almost 6 inches to swing the gate open.  How amazing.  and the second pic is of it piled up…it's really EARTH…like, you could plant Anything in it and it would THRIVE!  but that wasn't what today was about.  and  then,  the Way Back gate…, even more.  i forgot to take a pic there.  but even Deeper….because their tub where i drop the flakes of feed over the fence is right next to that gate.  Goats are notorious as feed wasters…they are wild with it, lots flies out.  and even tho i go through the house and deliver that initial drop to three different tubs farther away,  a lot gets flung around.  So…even deeper there i had to dig and because it's a South facing place,  it's warmer, all winter long and there were

worms

many many worms!!!!   so i went down to that point but stopped there to give the worms a chance to retreat deeper.  in the morning i think the coast will be clear.    

 

but here's the Corridor between the back fence and the Albatros connecting both front pens.  They ran back and forth all day,  forgetting inbetween, then remembering and running again, getting lost then finding themselves, getting lost again.    Caroline and her daughter Karma had the hair along their spines on end,  their tail hair fanned out.  Lucky Star even spun sideways many times and DID head but with Caroline, rising up on her hind legs and coming down a little hard.    Because that second forgotton pen is back across from the Buck pen,  all of the bucks lined up along the fence in fascination, their upper lips curled back, noses in the air so they could best appreciate the smell of close does.  Even Nogal. 

So what actually happened was only Half of It.  i realized that what would make it Good would be to have a good working gate at one end of the Corridor.  Good working gates make all the difference in the world.

 

so i called the Goat Helping guy to see if he had some time.  yes.  so he came and in his oh so slow methodical way cut a piece of cattle panel and attached some good strong livestock fencing to it.  Slow going.

 

this is like Permanent.  wrapped wrapped wrapped and then clamped close…" so they don't hurt their noses"…yes.  no nose will get hurt.  and it's  STRONG.  

 

this is how cattle panel is attached so it has a Hinge.  and can move as a gate.  this is ….hmmmm, electrician's tape?/plummer's tape?  i forget.  but its metal and has two different sized holes in it.  makes a perfect hinge.   

So tomorrow.  tomorrow after i finish digging out the Way Back gate,  i'll close this gate for a while and let all those Goats run through.  Big Day.   but today,  in stead of anxiety,  i feel excitement.  We will do it.  We will see what happens.  i feel my tail hair flairing.

 

late in the day without a flash

 

 

 

trying…the light…not a good time of day, well, not even day.  Dark outside.  but  i loved fooling with the light…trying.   i managed to invisible baste everything down as the day became dark and i LOVE looking at it.  I don't know if it will "read" that way for anyone else, but for me, those shapes at the top are all the RIMS of Earth that those wandering spirits frequent.  i can't remember in the moment what it's called…Distance,  foreground then things way far away???? can't remember, but that's what i see.  and that so Great and Wonder Full little SUN…so far far away….

i really love this cloth.  really love it.

 

i did a LOT of this.  tying fencing to the metal Tposts with baling wire.  A LOT.  i shored up all the weak spots on the Buck fence.    and yes.  that IS Goat POOP, the little balls in that little green feeder that i put their minerals in.  Somehow Goats manage to poop in everything.  it's a phenomenon.

 

 

 

Gideon and Nogal were particularly interested.

 

i opened the little door into the right side of the Albatros.  ( The Albatros being what i call the barn shed which is now just for Goats.  it was originally built for Auto Repair but never used for that.  Never really had Purpose.  hence,  Albatros…just a huge thing with no purpose hanging around my neck out there.  Now, however, very purposefull.)   anyway  i opened that right side that has been empty since Buckwheat was over on that side and then gone to Los Cruces.  just unused.  

 

this is the cattle panel that divides the Albatros in half with entrys on both sides.  Gates on both sides now.

 

this is the side that Lucky Star, Caroline, Karma and Celia have been using.  

 

 

Caroline and her daughter Karma particularly interested.

So…ok.  The Decision has been made.  Tomorrow morning i will open the back Coridoor and let Those 4 Goats run back and forth for a while.   Then……………………………………………..

 

I'll open the gate that is at the far back of this pic.    All the doe Goats will BURST through, burst through where you see the dog Chinche here….

 

whiz around the salt cedar

 

and into this gate that will be OPEN with me inside with their bucket of pellets to cheer them on.

THEN.  for a few days all of Them can get used to eachother again.  All the does can get used to the two young ones smell, sound.   Lucky Star can Think about how it is.  and MAYBE after a few days, i can open the Corridor and they can all be one herd again.  THEN,  i can run them ALL back and forth from this Front  to the Way Back .  Maybe even every day.  But during those hard days of January when it gets SO cold and snows or rains,  everyone will have a dry place to be.

The Truth is…..and this is for the part of this Blog that is my own personal Journal of my Life,  the Truth is that i have a really really hard time with this.  People i can manage.  the Old Cowboy, Alz B,  even the thought of mySelf,   but animals….they are my Weakness.  i am Responsible for them.  and the Truth is,  i have been very anxious, nervous about all this now for months.  i have put it off.  put it off.  put it off.  There is no point.  it will go how it will go.  i have done every single thing i  can think of to make it ok.   Time now to just Go.  o Kay.

so.  Tomorrow.

 

and maybe then i can really get back to Cloth.

 

 

 

 

 

Work Away day.  2 jobs instead of one,  ….i used to work 2 a day all the time.  just some years ago, really, but gave that up.  and today, i found self having no heart at all for it.  just wanting to come home.   the Grocery Store was brimming,  as were people's shopping carts.  hundreds of dollars of ingredients for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day.  how wealthy we are in this country.  i wanted a jar of dijon mustard.  standing there,  i should have counted,  but there were SO many possibilities…maybe almost 10 brands of dijon?  and i remembered how i experienced culture shock when returning from the Peace Corps experience in India in 1969.  going to the grocery store.  being completely undone by choice.  standing there.  just looking.  leaving because i couldn't think. 

but i chose a dijon mustard and then chose some Flowers to take to Alz B. tomorrow.  i'll spend Christmas mid day with her.  feed her lunch.  she has always loved being brought flowers.  not so much now.  sometimes not at all now.  but i thought it worth a try.    

and then Paul the Magician of Fix arrived to access the leaking ceiling.  so we climbed on the roof and saw a seperation and a …..sagging…eee….but he sussed it out, like Bob Marley, and will come on Saturday to correct the sag, to shore up the ceiling, to seal the seperated roof panels.  All will be well.   i Love Paul.  i tell him that all the time.  Paul loves to be loved.  everything goes smooth.

 

there wasn't much of the day left, but i looked more.  and enough to realize that i had begun this Cloth saying i was making something i had never seen before.  and today that clicked.  Why would i then, go forward putting things there that were so familiar?  why don't i wait.  be quiet.  wait to find out really what's going on here?  but then…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and i rummaged.  looking for a cloth i'd made a long time ago,  wanting to see what i'd done then,  and making this messy mess even  messier,  but i didn't find it.  it's in there,  in one of these baskets.  but i didn't find it.  and all of a sudden, i didn't WANT to find it.  This Cloth is THIS Cloth. Just be quiet and Wait.  ok.  

 

but i guess it was remembering India and i looked through the Pictures in here

 

 

 

and this is what i will make for New Year's Eve.  which is the secular holiday i love.  i cook.  and eat and re VIEW my calendar and mark significant dates on the new calendar….things to remember of the previous year.  What all will that be this time??????????????? 

 

 

 

 

 

i thought it would be a "Free" day.  got cancelled from my Monday work.  they were sick.  so went to check on Alz. B and then a couple small errands.  Home.  Putting groceries away i got a phone call.

the Very Nice Guy who will help with Goat hoof trimming on going was on the phone to tell me he was outside my gate and wondering how it all was going, did i have a minute?  well,  what does one say??? ok.  and the minute turned into 2 cups of tea and long.  he IS very nice.  and DOES do interesting things.  but 

i

am very nice too.  and try to do interesting things.  but ok and oh well.  that left Goat stuff and Wood stuff.  A day.  

 

early this morning.  Tea bags on wood stove.

 

 

is this the way it should go????  i don't know.  do i want a MOON?  i don't know.  where are all the other scraps, like for the rest of the sky?  or is this one piece enough to say SKY?  i don't know.  and then what is the MIDDLE?   i have always envisioned Grasses.  those would be stitched tho.  here again, i am in a dilemma about covering the Tea Dye cloth.  i always do that.  i end up just love ing the Tea Dye and not wanting to cover it.  i need to come to terms with that at some point.

But i DO love the thread tangle at the base of the Shelter.  just threads.  random…love them.

 

 

i was excited to see what might happen this morning and what happened is that i see i CAN make a dimensional Shelter.   i has begun this way, but i also realized that i am trying to make something that I have Never Seen.  so it's Happening for the First Time as we go.  I really have no idea…

just those words:  Shelter For Wandering Spirits

but i fills me.  

 

Maybe?????

 

possibilities

just words.

 

this was a different day for me.  there were PEOPLE here.  

ordinarily,  there are not

People here.

i am thinking about it.  kind of re-running the day,  like re-play.  and i am listening to the sounds of the Goats when Marti's husband was out there, working the  Composts.  They called to him… calling calling…not knowing who he was, what he was doing.  Maybe he would bring those salted peanuts in the shell????   Who knows?  yes, and really…who knows?

their voices were different than when they call me.  because it was a different scene.  first, they sense he is Male.  Goats are tuned to that.  but then also,  they sensed he was busy DOING something.  so…their calls were tuned for that.  Just in case.  Just like you never know.  I'm thinking about that.   Thinking.  Thinking how they change me.  Thinking how they sensitize me.

the plan was to drive up to Water Canyon.  but it rained here, all last night

 

and tho the roads all the way up the mountain were clear and BEAUTY FULL,  once we began to enter the canyon,  there was snow and ice.  ahead i could see that an inversion was settling low…colder temperatures just down the road.  so now being older and wiser we turned around and came home.  Next time.

undaunted,  we Ate Drank and Were Merry

 

me and Marti

 

me and Marti's Very Good Husband, who…..while we were getting things on the table…

 

 

ordered, turned and watered BOTH my composts in the most loving way.

 

the bronze Goat went out to join the Child Buddha

 

Solstice.  2013     Spring is just around the Corner