windthread

lately i've thought a lot about Friends….about people i have known for years now,     this way    on line.   those words….

on line

friends…through this internet…this form   of existence        And how many have come to be no less than people i have known      In Person.   If you are reading here,    you are one of the ones i'm talking about.    Some of us have chosen to be present to each other often.   Others,  now and  then.   Some just appear out of no where and i am delighted….like Beverly,  yesterday….

it's the same with the in person friends.  we have moved and live in different places.   Some of us keep…..in touch….often.  Some this time of year…sending a card to catch up.   Some i send an email asking….are you still alive?   and they say yes and we exchange a few times and then drift off in a gap of time   And then….there is the phenomenon of the Gathering….how things are happening there,  at least for me,  feels like a     Sisterhood.    

i could,  and probably should be more clear about what i mean,   but what i want to also say…and batteries are lowish,    i have also only recently understood that many of the people who appear on FaceBook etc,  are…..real people.   It is Their on line presence as this blog i guess is mine….but they are real people.  As i've said…i go there because extended family posts their doings there…old sister in laws,  nieces and nephews,    a way to be a small part of their lives    but who i am talking about here,  a good example is someone called Victoria Erickson…she's a writer   and then   Deja Hu  who i don't know all of what he is…but he is a REAL human being…somewhere overthere in the UK   They MATTER to me.

and the reason i'm writing this here is

Someone who MATTERS to me a LOT….like…..a LOT is Erika Heilman of  the podcast RumbleStrip VT.   If i could be anyone besides my self…if i could choose,   i'd be her.   Here's that word    love    again.    I LOVE Erika Heilman.   Every single pod cast,  i love so much for so many reasons and she,   the content of her podcasts,   MATTERS to me….makes a DIFFERENCE in my life.  and…………….SHE IS A PERSON.    Today she came on to tell us about someone who is sponsoring her podcast.   This is the first time i know of that she's done this.    There's that donate button,  but she doesn't say much of anything at all about it.   I do a monthly $5…..measly amount,  but……….anyway……………she tells us about  East Hill Tree Farm   and i listen and then go read and then….i think….immediately,   this is a way i can let her know that i am out here and love her but then it morphs into a surprising thing that how i can say that is

i CALLED East Hill Tree Farm on their ………………land line……………and it said leave a message and i begin my weird message and after a long time was interrupted by the PERSON,  Nico,    who said Hello and what i ended up doing was to  gift Forrest Foster,  Dairyman,  friend of Erika  $50  of some tree or berry bush or bare root something,   whatever he might think,  and that Nico will talk to Erika and they can figure  out how to do this between the two of them

the last regular podcast….Erika hung out with Forrest.    I am here.  Me.     trying to understand Radical Acceptance.   I listen to Erika and Forrest as they drive through Hardwick VT  in a pickup and      Forrest,     Forrest     has the key.    Forrest   IS

radical acceptance

and i am so grateful for them…my Friends.   I love them.   Love.     love them.   

Addendum 12~16

there's something about these words….either something missing or something unintended implied…..?……that has bothered me all day.   Again….these wordy kinds of posts….come from fragmented thoughts throughout a day and come to be a post  just with stream of consciousness  late in the evening.   i never organize any thoughts ahead of time.   long ago in the past,  when i've tried,  things felt  stilted.    Anyway….i'll keep thinking and just let things simmer.   Come back later.    Above all else,   Love and Love

 

 

 

 

and think     !!!!    how have i never seen this before?????     All it says is   Petroglyphs  depicting whales  Qagorlog Greenland

a new discovery?????     But i go on with the day….sprucing up the Curry  House for these next     WET

winter  days,  sweeping spider webs,   dusting the feed bins,   readying the spent pellet bags for removal ,  raking up rice straw into a nice fort under the milk stand   and getting Puppy's old cat bed from the horse trailer….dusting if off,  fluffing it up.   Things like that    and now….this evening….and on….into early night….i follow through and see that these are examples of Art in this town of Greenland that has devoted its self to Rock art…these being part of a project called   Stone and Man

no.   They are not petroglyphs.      does that make them any less ?     no….    and i thought about drawing on stone….what might that FEEL like?

 

 

they are beginning to Wake Up,   the moss and lichens

 

 

it could be an aerial  view of a vast uncharted wildland

there is something i don't understand about Radical Acceptance.    A Key thing.    I will take this question to the next Gathering at the Well.   ask Wendy.   She always says….can you give us an example?   I saw this this morning.   Perfect.

there was a brief window of time when my kids were little…they were 3 years apart…when both  were wondering and asking about the God thing.   And     I     also was.    Wondering.

So…what i came up with,  for them,   and for myself was…….Well….what about   all the astoundingly amazing things?…all the Beauty,   all the magically beauty Full amazing things….      WHY?   All the myriad forms….of insects,  of   Butterflies…so easy an example,  of the fish in oceans,  their incredibly extravagant coloration , design  and magical form….    Why not just brown things?

if things…like fish,  like insects,   are          food    wouldn't just variations of brown work?    their movement would attract enough?      or….if color mattered,   then that too.    But that's not  how it is.   There is so much MORE…..this spider for  instance…i lost the words to the pic but it's an Australian spider…..this spider…….What On Earth is ALL THIS  FOR  ?

All i could come up with is that there must be some Crazy Wonderfull INTELLIGENCE  …."out there" ….beyond anything we can imagine    that LOVES  Beauty and Magical form that would provide these things for US…for the living beings of this planet to thrill us,  to makes us Wonder,  to pull us toward Its Self,  to pull us Out   …….    toward It…….to make us ask the questions that might help us Grow as a species

this answer is faulty…but it's still the answer i have today.   What extraordinary kind of Intelligence might GIVE this?

 

there are many Bells.   I sat with them today.   Rang them.   Almost all of them hung in New Mexico.  This one hangs low in the Morning Tree,  the House Oak.   The Goats go under and ring it.

there was a time when i would search for beautiful  and or interesting wall calendars  and then years ago,  went to my first Dollar Store in Los Lunas  NM   and there….Butterflies     One Dollar      with excellent open format for  Keeping Track and it's been that way ever since…how long?   over 10 years for sure  maybe even almost 20  and i would sit with them on New Year's Eve and bring forward into the New Year things like birthdays and significant events to celebrate again,    at the same time,  Re~viewing all that had been.   As i write that now,  i think….as long as i have lived alone and the question comes….How Long?,  have i lived alone?        Every December i "worry"  they won't have them….go with trepidation and riffle through the box which are all at first  kittens and waterfalls and famous architecture  and always,  so far, finally ….Butterflies.   This time  was even one of Pigs.  which might have been possible.    When i went yesterday,  i looked where i thought they would be  and no,     my heart  sank.   i found  someone,   asked     she said….Yes…all happy….up by the check out….a prominent place so i am wondering if there are more of  "me"  who look forward to their new year this way?  am thinking this is so.

 people have opinions about dollar stores but          also yesterday,    a  2lb bag of small avacados  $3 ,  i thought maybe some might not be great,  but so far…each has been probably the BEST avacado  i've  had in years. 

 this year i'll go back to that Ritual.  It was quite a year.   There will be things to bring Forward.  

the News today is dire and heartbreaking.   But there are these small things.  and i think… BE   the bell that still can ring.   ok.   ok.

for those who might have missed it….Please go to yesterday's post,   to Margery's comment and the link she gifted

I listened and watched and thought….    We     are bells that can be rung     We are.    I am full of Love for all who come here,  whether seen or unseen…so  so full of love  for this     Thank You

again.  just RAIN.   Not easy and i worked with  Radical Acceptance and looked long at the Gumweed  i'd ordered from the Herbalist in Paradise…her recipe of gumweed and cottonwood bud because i'd almost used up the first bottle.  looked at the two wafers of lavender soap she included and this seed packet,  how she loves what she does           and finally,  late in the day a fierce shaft of SUN broke through and shown upon the wet leaves of this house Oak,  the branches over the wooden bamboo dragon chime and the rain drops looked like diamonds or prisms all sparking  reflecting rainbow  glints of magic   

love…,   here again,    plain old love  

finding this card in a book….Voyager Tarot    and it set me to thinking about how many things i have loved in this life Time and still love,   small things,  large,  small like this card that i've loved for so long and things,  so many i still love and then things that now arise to love

and the thing of Radical Acceptance…how there is some kind of Release              the word Compassion comes up ….this,   but also,  there is just plain old Love.