windthread

a Seed thought:

Wanting     Needing   ???       "Things"  to be     different.       to change.        But watching  self letting that be just kind of an Over Lay on how it's always been,  how i've always been….keep putting Different over Same…on top of,  like another layer.   It won't work.

the work of Radical Acceptance….letting the old      go.   and i'd put off the On Being …but listened today and how perfect,  again,  the timing.    Christiana Figueres   Ecological Hope and Spiritual Evolution….her book,  The Future We Choose.   and how she said…."let go of the old world".   Yes.   

 

and then,  from FaceBook   "One way to lift your mood is to imagine all the nice things Steve Irwin would say about you if you were a lizard and he found you sunning yourself on a log"     The Lowdown

Monday Alyssia had a late appointment.  I picked Julian up from school and we set out.  Panda  again.  it's drive through so we sat a little in the parking lot so i could eat  some  but then went on.   was later in afternoon,  not a lot of time so i decided FINDING Goodwill would be enough.   I practiced with my google map thing on my phone and he showed me how to get the woman in it to speak outloud .   Not sure i'll remember that but i WILL remember how to find Goodwill.

and i have this fortune.   

my brother's middle daughter,  birth name Chyna Aurie Matisse,   is a school bus driver in rural Minnesota.   Ms. Matie.  She loves her work,  it's really her mission,   she LOVES it,  for some years now.  i have never known anyone who loved their work more than Matie.     on the way to Alyssia's there is a second hand store and i saw this.   If there was anything at all i could do in this moment it would be to find a way to send her this….She would be so so beyond joyfull,  so crazy happy

Continuing on here after a long lapse.    and       that's all it is.    Practice.    Remain steadfast and     Practice.

the Sundays  after a Gathering at the Well….everything is always So Clear,  so clearly clear and then slowly, over days  it gets a little lost and i have to find it again….seems to be a process that's recurring .  This morning:

i drew this a few days ago.     didn't have any idea why,  what exactly i was drawing?  but i remembered Shambhala.

"the inherent wisdom, compassion, and courage of all beings and even in our human society~our fundamental nature"      even Google knows

Late last night,  the phone with Kay,  Kay Gould Caskey,  me  lamenting  how all my life  i'd thought there were  so many possible Ways to uhhh,  "believe"  in,  true Ways,   knowing they were all really the Same,  feeling like i could choose which Path  to "learn Into",  but that now,  with how things are,  how things seem to be going,  how things are "turning out" in the world….the seeming rise in the thirst for war,  the rise in the thirst for division and hate in the   "political, sociological" landscape in this country….i feel like all those rugs have been pulled from beneath my feet…  BUT …..somehow…..there remains       some insistent belief that somehow….there IS     A     truth,  that it IS       offered             from ……The Unknowable Brilliant Mind of The Universe….it remains…it remains

 

and as i am saying these things to her there came this,  somewhere from nowhere, like a direct transmission:        "It is important that you remain steadfast to Me"         The Universe said.        and I said….wait,   wait,   i need to write that down and i did

 

 

and in first light of This day,  i looked to my left and there it was…this drawing….and i thought…      it's the ticket.  my ticket  !  and i remembered Gelek Rinpoche of Jewel Heart Temple,  Ann Arbor Michigan ,  the 70's?  early 80's?     saying:

"Practice like your hair's on fire."

and so.

i come away from this time at the Well

The Universe said:            "it is important that you remain steadfast to Me"         and

All the Teachings say,        in their own way,

Practice like your hair's on  fire

Ok.        i am ready.

journal entry

 

 

 

 

  

 

a dream…a ripped piece of paper  of an illustration from Crow Mother and the Dog God   Meinrad Craighead  ,   the book down in one of the tubs at B Garden that RAIN entered last winter,  saved

from a long phone conversation with Kay….Kay Gould Caskey.   

"it is important that you remain steadfast to Me"   the Universe said

journal entry

 

about 5 or 6 inches not including the tail.   don't know if you can see…the two dots mid back…punctures….precise.   I wanted to think it was Puppie but really,   i think it was a rattlesnake but…would a rattle snake strike a creature too big to swallow?    This is the second year we haven't seen any snake at all.    A reminder that the Hill has a whole life that goes unseen.   

1. Gy hi

 

 

words tomorrow

 

 

will carry me through the Rain Time.    I'll wait till December to look inside.

Let each day be lived as an "altar" to LIFE.     ?      One of the first thoughts upon waking this morning.   I am wondering what it could mean.   

and then,  just after dawn turned into day,   i heard that unmistakable call of a Goat in distress.    Through the window i could see that they were all up here as usual…where they wait for the morning hay,  all staring at something and going out i saw a Goat on her side….legs sticking straight out as they do…..it was Mercy.  She was on the incline,  back and head on the downside.   I don't want to go into detail,  there's no point,  but i was able to "right" her and she stood,  caught her balance and began moving.  Two steps at a time,  two steps until she got where she wanted to go which was under the table out there where she likes to wait for her daily Zinc gummy which she loves.   and she just stood.    I sat a few minutes but came back in to finish my tea.    and i thought of that sentence as i prepared myself for the worst.   She was still just standing there when i went out sometime later to feed.   And as i finished throwing the hay,  i saw that she had come down…was standing at the periphery of all of them  but there..it's a long walk.    She has health issues.   She's i think 9 years,  10?   not young.  None of them are except for the two wether boys.   and again,  with long standing health issues.      But she carried on with her day.   Had it not been for those moments   in the morning,  i would not have thought anything was out of the ordinary.   I am grateful that i had fair warning of things changing for her.  What ever happens now will be more gentle because of this.   She is the one of them that i think of as "my" Goat.  I love her.  So i thought all day about that morning sentence….Let each day be lived as an altar to Life…thought how this will become a part of that,   whatever it might mean.