for those who might have missed it….Please go to yesterday's post, to Margery's comment and the link she gifted
I listened and watched and thought…. We are bells that can be rung We are. I am full of Love for all who come here, whether seen or unseen…so so full of love for this Thank You
again. just RAIN. Not easy and i worked with Radical Acceptance and looked long at the Gumweed i'd ordered from the Herbalist in Paradise…her recipe of gumweed and cottonwood bud because i'd almost used up the first bottle. looked at the two wafers of lavender soap she included and this seed packet, how she loves what she does and finally, late in the day a fierce shaft of SUN broke through and shown upon the wet leaves of this house Oak, the branches over the wooden bamboo dragon chime and the rain drops looked like diamonds or prisms all sparking reflecting rainbow glints of magic
love…, here again, plain old love
finding this card in a book….Voyager Tarot and it set me to thinking about how many things i have loved in this life Time and still love, small things, large, small like this card that i've loved for so long and things, so many i still love and then things that now arise to love
and the thing of Radical Acceptance…how there is some kind of Release the word Compassion comes up ….this, but also, there is just plain old Love.
looked everywhere…but no….not. But i was somehow sure i would have brought it. I left a lot of caste iron behind. I'd given up. today, while looking for something else….there it was….under the house, all hidden with dry grasses, dirt, leaves. Ta DA! i should have taken her pic in the beginning….SO MUCH rust….this is after some work. There's many YouTubes on restoration. Tomorrow will begin in earnest. For my Tortilla making.
The longer we are gone from New Mex, the more we reminisce and ache for the food. There are mexican restaurants here, a zillion food trucks with great street food but none…NONE….as good. New Mexican food is food of the Gods. I used to get the most elegant thin delicate tortillas from the Food CoOp in Albuquerque. And when i wasn't cooking so much, there were places in Socorro, even the deli at the SuperMart Grocery that were Enough. For a long time now Alyssia and i have longed for a really good breakfast burrito. Sophia's, just as you get into town …Socorro….a drive through…that i'd stop at on my way to some job. Everything about those breakfast burritos was FINE but basic to anything you might put in them….the tortilla. I only tried some few times and i think, didn't really try because i could get them elsewhere. Here, there is no elsewhere and so, my mission is to Learn. I watch YouTube after YouTube. the ingredients could not be more simple. It's the
technique
how you Love and Handle your dough
so…we'll see about how this griddle goes. not a Comal, but …..she's mine and what i have and that has meaning.
it feels GOOD to think of these things in this world of so much sorrow.
it's been awhile since i've been to B Garden. There's some disarray but also…these were waiting. Garden needs me. and i need Garden.
Just Jenny came today. She and I. a Work Day. some chainsaw work but mostly digging. Shovel full by shovel full. Her. I sat near and we talked. about the War, about the involvement of the United States in conflicts over the years, about looming presidential possibilities, Roe v Wade, my abortions, her attempt at getting one, her menopause now, her father, brother, her job, what's next for this Hill, about Talkie, what to do, about her kids…Alyssia and Jeff and then their kids, gender and gender reassignments, how some things are with her and her man, food we like and food we want to try, to mention a few. None of it in any "heavy" way. Easy. Conversational. for some HOURS. While she dug. At one point i needed to come back up to the "house" and asked…can i bring you anything? and she said "the meaning of life. if you find it, put it in a baggie, so i can keep it for later".
yesterday i became enamored with the word Version. I googled. "a particular form of something differing in certain respects from an earlier form or other forms of the same type of thing." I think…how everything is Versions of one Lived Thing ?
i am so grateful for this day.
.
this morning….
Some of the Doe Goats have long full beards. There is a kind of grass that sends out millions of very sticky prickly seeds, tiny, that tangle in them as they brouse . They stand…very still, and Talkie fastidiously snaps them away. Grooming. Mutual.
the GOOD thing Talkie continues to do.
then….there's all the rest.
Talkie has always been a little mean. Would chase the kids. At one point, we got them pool noodles to keep with them as they played, in case she would be Coming For Them…they could ward her off with their pool noodle. and then…it wasn't so much an issue. for a long time. She has "trained" Puppy. Puppy can only come here…by the door…Care Fully….she dashes from somewhere and skidds across the table to eat from her bowl out there. When i am sitting somewhere and she comes to be petted, she keeps an eye out for Talkie who will come from nowhere, head low, her wings outstretched and Bite
a Bite from a chicken is a sharp sudden kind of painful peck from a strong beak…sometimes draws blood but not usually
She has discovered that she can intimidate Minnow.
there is that old lawn chair from Alyssia's that Minnow could sit in to snooze when the ground is wet from rain…No More
Talkie jumps up and bites her. Minnow no longer even thinks about the chair.
Talkie patrols the area infront of the door. No one gets to be here but her. She shits on the steps. Before i go out, i look.
she bites me too…but i'm on to her…also watchfull, can kick dust and make the Chitt Chitt sound that says Go Away. i'm big.
so what do you do? when there is a mean Chicken bully? Alyssia belongs to a local Chicken FaceBook page and she posted that question there…we waited for Admins to ok it but it was a few days and Alyssia looked further and saw that it's been since October that there have been any new posts…so….that's not going to help.
What SHOULD we do? What CAN we do?
in Alyssia's neighborhood in town there are free roving chickens. Maybe we set Talkie loose there?….to seek her Karma?
ok.
standing just at the gateway to the expanse of Radical Acceptance. I see that it is vast. That things come into focus and then fade, only to return in a different way. I know only that I have a limited understanding of how things work here. I know that i can learn. I know that i WANT to learn. I've brought my Stuff with me. Love Hope Fear . They need to be left outside. I can come back to them any time. As many times as i need to. This is how i imagine it.
i don't know if anything else will go onto this page. There's that vague line of landscape and on the right, rain, Sky Water. i also see a very large close Sun on the left. maybe that. maybe that with the inktense pencils.
and along with this i'm reading The Future We Choose The Stubborn Optimist's Guide to the Climate Crisis Christiana Figueres and Tom Rivett~Carnac Ok.
the longest i've ever left it. For days….a few weeks, i think…today. But then i didn't. Today i did.
there are some people who like spiders. a lot who don't, really, who are creeped out by them. How they have so many legs, go so fast, are sneaky…hiding then popping out
These Cellar spiders, there are two, have worked diligently to construct this elaborate world Day after day. Housemates. and i think, a bad choice on their part….not much to eat in here for all this work. An occasional fly. Some very small night flying insects that are drawn to the lamp light. OutSide would be much better. I try to catch them with the jelly jar glass and post card method so i can send them outside, but they elude me. So…finally, today. The broom. Gone. They ran up into the blinds. Tomorrow theyll begin again. Their lifespan is 2 years.
