windthread

so it's 10 am,  Pacific time.   I'm going to tap publish.  see if this appears.   if so,  come back later with words.   Here goes……

11:30 am.    Ok.   got this far.    that  Image Proxy HTTP Unknown Image Proxy error  remains.   i cannot rotate the image.   I'll just wait for Typepad Help people,  let it go for now.  there's a whole world out there.

AND to say,  which was what i'd been looking forward to writing about…..   the BOOK is all that i'd hoped it might be.   Am going slow.   one page at a time,  stopping to absorb.   looking at how she chose to illustrate her thoughts…or her thoughts asked to be illustrated or something else,   but it's just Great.   

 

 

 

ok.    so,   the fourth day of being UnAble to load a photograph.    Nothing to do but wait.

i woke this morning and again….that sense of Lost,   of   flat~ness,   of  not knowing  how i can go.    i made the tea,  did the Usuals and it clung….the word was angst.    I googled it and it was wrong,   not what it means to me,   but what it meant to me was what i felt ,  so i stayed with it….Angst.     i worked through thngs and thought how Wendy had given the Thing of the 

Fertile Void

and how i  should 

Trust

Wait

and i went back to yesterday,   the Mantis.    Her still~ness,    sure~ness   and said

help!  in my mind,  and then aloud…..Help!

i read Jude's post and went back into that back room where all those bags of cloth reside,  where Minnow now sleeps among them,   and ran my hands through one but again,  knew that it's not time for cloth.   it just isn't.   There is no purpose there whatever that means….there is no purpose there    and drank another cup of tea and fed Goats and Minnow and Talkie and more cat food in Puppy's bowl on the table and listened to  the new bird that sounds like a rusted gate hinge and remembered how much i used to love magazines.   the FEEL of them,   their visual gratification,   even the smell of them,  print on paper,  their Weight….Magazines and i googled Art Magazines  and there was a horizontal line of images but as it happens in the morning the images popped down a line into

Drawing Thought     Andrea Kantrowitz    image of the book cover   and on it went,  reading,   YouTubes

"Drawing is a way of constructing ideas and observations as much as it is a means of expressing them.  When we are not ready or able to put our thoughts into words,  we can sometimes put them  down in arrangements of lines and marks.  Artists, designers,  architects and others draw to generate explore and test perceptions and mental models.  In Drawing Thought,  artist-educator Andrea Kantrowitz invites readers to use drawing to extend and reflect on their own thought processes. She interweaves illuminating hand-drawn images with text,  integrating recent findings in cognitive psychology and neuroscience with accounts of her own artistic and teaching practices."

……when we are not ready or able to put our thoughts into words……

maybe.   maybe this is a path…..from the Fertile Void……on…..into finding a way to give word to that sense of       Being Of.

there was     a feeling of     Realease.   was/IS.    

 

 

love it when this happens.    ordinarily it would be a tomato worm….but the experience is the same.    Just mindlessly gazing while holding the hose to the adjacent pot of  Amaranth….suddenly,  the brain alerts!   i look,    and there,   clear as day….

 

 

like it is too,   when there is a snake,  just so still,   really,   invisible.   or as you go to reach for something and that same Alert, no,  a leg of a  spider there.    How the eyes do not see,  yet.     but the eye of the brain,   the ancient brain that  translates  differing line of shape that signifies Other amidst repeated expected forms

i needed this.    She tells me…..All is Well  and All Manner of Things Shall Be Well.

Gratitude.   could  so easily not have noticed.    

 

so much known intellectually…so many sources,  so many words,  Beautiful words,   true words

yet…some kind of veil…or,   maybe membrane…..between the intellectual,  the Mind,  knowing,  and

the  

experiential plane….the FELTSENSE ,   the OFness

a sprig of windfall on the road up/down….     What are these on it?   they are like tiny bowls.    ????    

bringing up the Rock from  B Garden,       there,  on the road in a very conspicuous place….this pomegranate.    NOT one of the ones i've been watching,   this one,  all transformed of color.   The seeds…still moist.    ????     i would have seen it on the way down…..?????   Where had it been?   How did it come to be opened and….there?   

 

the Rock…from the coast of Lake Superior,  of the Great Lakes.  A very specific summer.    Lake Superior always feeling like the Ocean to me,   all Wild and endless  

the black/white feather  found on the day of or  near  the day that  Skali Chelh-tenaut left this plane of existence….just there,  on the road up.   I've never found a feather like it.   Today at the Dollar Store….a new supply of Our Lady of Guadalupe  7 day candles

 

the Malibar,   self sown   abundance   and  joy Full ,  vining UP and UP and i SEEEEE the vines,  every day,  More and  extending

squat and just look….their Beauty and Glory

and this was enough,   but then this eve,    a pic on Message….from my son's woman….mother to their child, my Colorado granddaughter  Giana,  9 years   her….on the stairwell of their home

with a cello

her hands hold the bow….rest on the body of  the cello….perfectly,    even tho i know so little,  i can see this,  know it to be true

learn that she had resisted,   but then,   was able to try instruments….her school offers this….and she wants to try

cello

and totally amazing to me….i find self  saying….if she continues…..if she has interest……i  too

want to learn.

!!!???

just to make a sound.     cello is the language of Orca,   of plants,   of wind and sunlit days,   of deep rain days    of  Joy   of Grief

how amazing….how much a surprise….    I would learn.    learn to make just even ONE sound with cello

 

 

Orca

Lummi Nation       San Juan Island  

captured at 4 yrs

lived 50 years in Miami aquarium.     aquarium.      an   aquarium.    Orca.