windthread

little red riding hood

singing

a Tisket a Tasket

 

they were last.   Kindergardens…the two,  combined.   3 songs.    i chose this pic because it is the best of Ms. Johnson who leads her flock not just with words but her hands.  Actually her whole body.  She gestures,  waves,  swirls and sways.  She is GRAND. 

the  cafeteria space was FULL.  All seats taken   then   many standing.   i LOVED looking at all the children, all so singular and of themSelves,  some just standing there silent,  some rocking and rollin,  some in a world of their own.   Their Beauty.  Their STORIES,  if i could only know.   and then on into the audience,  all the parents.   This is a working class neighborhood.   Nothing fancy  but that SO MANY CAME…i'll ask Alyssia,  but for sure,  more than 100.  

i don't know what to say about Emrie.   i was surprised.    She was…….a different Emrie.    She was FOCUSED.  totally.

she knew every word,  every gesture,  every everything and it was her    PERFORMANCE.   I could see something of who she will become.  i don't know in this moment how to think that.  But i was surprised.  She is Far More than i know so far.

 

 

i bought this clock at the Walmart in Socorro many years ago.   the only place in town that had such things.  The only clock there that looked like an actual clock.     At the time i didn't really believe it would work.   it's just plastic.  a single AA battery  (whose cover has long since been lost) .   I can't remember what need prompted it.    In the last maybe 20 years i might have set the alarm less than 4 times.    and not in the last 5 since i've been here.   Did a trial run last night and yup.  it even has a Snooze function.   Tomorrow morning i need to be up and out of here by 8am.   Emrie's Holiday Celebration at her school.  Her kindergarden performs.   

Today is 10 years since Sandy Hook.   off and on i listened to  stories.   and i think tonight  that i could never,  all my life,  have imagined carrying a thought with me that it could be here.   Probability slight.  Possibility real.   I thought of Emrie.  all the friends she's made.   and it  made the stories i listened to today all the more vivid.   Anything we can do,  ALL things we can possibly do  to stop gun violence.   It's been 10 years.

maybe i'll make one more doll.    i have a roll of the plaster gauze i use to make their mask faces with,  their hands.   I see her maybe 2 ft tall…free standing,  an armature.    afixed to a large brass platter that i would have to find.  Thrift Shop.   Everything else i have.   or,   maybe she is made of branches.  

Belov ed   Dollar Store

 

there's no way possible i can tell this.   it's so There in my head,   there is so Much of it,  pages in that steno pad  and it's keeping on coming.  But just to MARK it….to mark it Here,  this day, at the beginning of All the Rest.    as has been said…that 77th year…What was/is it?  and no real good answer.  for me,  let alone  to speak about,   but for what ever reason it is all now becoming clear and truth is,   it is SO

simple

i find self wishing i could have one final appointment with my psychiatrist of years ago…an Epilogue…he would enjoy it.  I can see his eyebrows rise,  his faint smile.   

so because there's so much,  i want to just place mySelf here at this Point.   Because in a way i am already no longer there/here.  There was a conversation with Jan the other day  that addressed none of this but somehow gave me the Key.   Her words were:        "I am learning how to walk this path"  and though we were talking about similar points in life,     those words instantly Rose Up and i saw them to be the naming of the Key to  "it".     and i saw that 77 somehow was a point of self absolution.    To make a lifelong story short,  i always was diligently On My Way to   "by then,  i will  have gotten somewhere".    I always loved,  since childhood ,  photographs of old women….staring at them….thinking,  by then,  i will have gotten somewhere.  And  i subconsciously gave that by then time to be 77…(more childhood story weaves in,  7 being a critical year in my life,  …..Surely, by 77  i would)

well,  guess what, grace

you're there.   you're

Somewhere.

and i have this huge Smile.    i'm Somewhere.    i AM.    

and it's quite Wonder Full    

i'm a pixel.  *

*  Peggy Mc G    Thank you,  Peggy

Thank you, Jan.   

and i will learn how to walk this path

of all of them so far,  this best followed Deb G' s  rule of    Don't Match.    and the reason for that was….3.   i have gone past this scrap so many times,   saying….no.    I don't know exactly why,  but just    no.    And finally i thought i needed to let that go and let it Be.   All through it was uncomfortable.   But here we have it.   And as always,  it is Good,  in its own way.

it occured to me tonight to see how many Spirals i have.    The ones for Jenny have been continued to be pinned to the Walnut Cloth.  All that followed,  i have put into a flat blanket  box that is mostly filled with books since being Ready to Evacuate.  On the end of the bed.    And Lo and Behold….there are 21 in there for Alyssia's….4 for me!!!!!!!!!!   i may have enough to go forward with theirs!!!!!!!    oh…..YAY me!!!!!!!!     I am actually DOING IT!   

 

i smiled when i saw what i did.   The whole beginning,  first third  of the book i loved beyond anything i'd hoped.   and now…moving into the the rest…complex beyond my nature and maybe my ability to grasp….   i saw that i had covered it with the beginnings of a spiral that i have thought to keep for my own.    i will continue reading,  but it's going to be slow and a whole different experience.

Atmospheric River.   Downpour of RAIN,   heavy,   Wind    non stop  hours on end.   I  dressed in my rain suit,  boots on,  wool hat.  Ready for any few minutes of let up that might come.   I can hear the Doe Goats  in their Rain House behind this Tin House.   When they're restless in there there is muttering,   jostling.         Nothing.  Silence.   and i wonder if they know it's no use and enter some kind of altered state?    11 am is late,  the latest for morning feed.   ll passed and 12 and around 1pm it lightened and i Went.   Just drizzle and all were Fed.   Down at the Feed Shed by Jack Flash and Nogal,  the little drain canal i dug held.  At first tho i couldn't get the door open,  so much sludge of earth and whatever being pushed down.  I dug it out.    We need a new Plan.    We were and are,   OK.   Tonight  and into tomorrow it will continue.  Moving through on Monday.   I close my eyes and feel the wet seep in,  down,   in to the roots of Everything.   

 

Dear Ones…………

LaceLady has become    in contact    with  Sue at Colour Mart who suggests sending a

snippet

so she can try to match.   !!!!!   Can you believe this???????      

I will send the Snippet to LaceLady tomorrow and she will send On.

MORE later this eve.

 

LATER

so…this is where things stand.    LaceLady is a Thread Broker.   

This is all just so Great….and whether or not  i end up with more thread,   just that it  Happened like this is just WonderFULL.  In the small space of Time,   this MORNING,   3 people,   one on a Hill,   one in  Washington state and one  on Featherbed Lane UK  were able to  ……   what?……what were we able to?   ……….Be PEOPLE to and for each other….in a most Beauty Full way.   In a way that has such basic meaning….need for thread.    Thread.    We have Trust Thursday.  Maybe Faith Friday. 

 

 

 

except for using Deb's Thread when stitching image,   this is the Only thread i use.   Was given to me long ago.

 

off and on i've tried to find it.     There's so much on this cone…but lately i think….what if i run out?   There will be a lot of kantha on  those quilts.  i have no clue how to judge Amount.   So,  if anyone who is familiar with these things knows how i can get another cone???????  i will be eternally grateful.   it is so fine and so strong.  

 

 

 

these are the needles i use.    tiny eyes,  but go through even layers of denim because they are so small and sharp.    Have a lot of them.   

more Rain.

had taken it off the Looking Cloth and set on table…this morning it was there but sideways….horizontal instead of vertical and it was

BeautyFull this way…just turned….its story completely changed….just by turning……

and i  imagined  Darwin and Jenny.   What were those moments like in her  "enclosure",  i closed my eyes and visualized  him holding out the mouth organ to her.  He must have played it,  to show her what it was?     she watches him closely.    I then visualize my self to be her….to see this through her eyes

this was time will spent.